Let Me Help You
by Sideos
Summary: A What If story. What if Dib had lived his childhood without Zim ever showing up? What if Zim arrived 20 years late? Can a now older Dib help a young, lonely green skinned child? Or will his childhood dreams change his mind...
1. First Impressions

_For every action there are an infinite number of choices you can make. It may not seem like it, but it's true. And for every one of those actions there exists a universe in which that action happened. We are but one of an infinite number of parallel dimensions each which houses every possibility known and even those which are impossible. _

_ This is simply one result out of the vast sea of possible options. That is, what if our antagonist, one Invader Zim of Irk, arrived upon Earth much later than what we know? If our protagonist, one Dib Membrane of Earth, lived his life without ever seeing the certain proof of the paranormal or of any alien existence? _

_ Let's look and find out. _

_

* * *

_

Dib looked around his new office, it was... more bleak than he thought it'd be. Cold steal walls, a leaking pipe right above his desk and... was that a pair of eyes he saw looking at him from the grate behind him? No, couldn't be, he must have been playing Bioshock for too long.

He was a tall, thin young man, having just graduated from university with a psychologist degree and a degree in child studies, his job? To be a child counsellor. He wore a pair of black pants, smart black shoes, a white shirt and a tie with the little spaceships on it, a throwback to his childhood obsession which he'd never truly given up, even if he knew it was just dreams and make believe. On his face were a pair of round glasses, thin black rim. His hair was also jet black with a rising jagged scythe.

Still, he was employed, finally, and it might not be the life of science his dad had always pushed him towards but it was his life and that's what mattered.

He spent a little time moving his desk away from the leak and unpacked his things. Since he had no cabinet, he had to pile his books up beside his desk as neatly as he could. He put in his plastic plant, whom he had nicknamed Harold, and placed some helpful posters on the wall.

Dib stood back and admired his work. The place still looked soul crushingly depressing, but at least it was a depressing one could get used too. Wow that sounded bad, even to him.

Now, to get on with helping these kids, because God only knows that he never got a lick of help during his childhood and it almost drove him mad.

He pulled up a chair and sat down, putting his hands on his desk and waiting for his first patient.

It took about five minutes before he realised how utterly boring this was. He should have brought his PGS hand-held game system, his sister had sent him one for his birthday, it was pretty nice considering she had designed the damn thing.

He groaned, leaning back. He would have thought that going back to his old school he would be swimming in troubled kids, but nope, it seemed that everyone here was just fine... that or they were simply too afraid to speak up for themselves.

Dib could understand that, he had never liked speaking to his counsellor, that guy was condescending and had openly lied to him. What a dick. He had promised himself he would never do that with any kid he helped. They had taught him at college never to become too attached, to always had a professional distance to those he was trying to help, but he was going to quietly ignore that. If you didn't invest yourself in the children, than how could they ever trust you?

A sudden buzz at his speaker phone almost made him jump out his skin. "Mr Membrane? A kid has been sent here to see you."

"Wha? Oh, err, GREAT!" Dib quickly replied as he gathered himself together, "Send him in!"

He was filled with a sudden sense of excitement. His first kid! He was finally about to make a major difference in the life of some young mind, helping them overcome their problems and become a successful human being!

He waited a moment, making sure to look as professional as possible before the door opened and in walked... well the oddest looking kid he'd ever seen.

The child's eyes were a misty purple, his hair was a stiff and black, curling up in an odd quiff. He had no nose, no ears and his skin was a grass green. He had a red top, black pants and boots and black gloves with only two fingers and a thumb. He was also pretty short.

Dib didn't know how to feel upon looking at the child, but his heart did go out to the poor little thing, it was obvious what he was sent here for, probably being picked on for his highly unusual appearance.

"Hi there," Dib smiled as the kid shut the door and took a seat, "I'm Dib, what's your name."

"I am the MIGHTY Zim!" The small child replied loudly, shaking a fist, "And I did not wish to know your name, human, because you're just as pathetic as every other human in this stinking human-trap you call a skool!"

... this was not what he'd spent seven years in university for. BUT, he could adapt, each kid was a unique case, right? "Well, I think you should know my name, I'm going to be your counsellor from now on after all."

"Zim needs no pathetic counsellor," The child replied, "I am a perfectly normal human worm baby, so just let me go so I can go back to learning about your pathetic human world."

"You like to call things pathetic a lot, don't you?" Dib replied slowly with a raised eyebrow, "Why?"

"Why do YOU ask so many questions," Zim replied with a harsh tone.

"Because I'm your counsellor," The older man replied simply, "And my job is to help you overcome whatever is troubling you. On that note, why were you sent here?"

Zim paused for a moment, looking as if he didn't want to answer the question before crossing his arms and looking away, "I was sent here for fighting."

"Ah," Dib nodded, his suspicions being confirmed, "Did some older kid pick on you?"

"No," Zim replied suddenly, catching Dib off guard with his answer, "I picked on him. I had identified him as the strongest, the toughest, therefore he was the alpha of the skool pack. I thought if I defeated him I could RULE over this place."

Dib was... a little shocked at this answer. What kid thought like this? Well, he was pretty freakish looking, so he guessed his parents must have installed some strange thoughts into his head to keep him going. "I see."

"Yes!" Zim grinned, "See! You get it! That stupid Mrs Bitters didn't get it! But now I am feared amongst these children, they see me as the strongest!"

"Is that important to you?" Dib asked quietly, "To be seen as the strongest?"

"Of course it is," Zim snapped back like his companion was some kind of idiot, "It is the law of nature, the strongest is the best and most equipped to rule over the others."

"Why do you want to rule?" The older man asked again, letting Zim practically walk into his questions.

It seemed the young boy was all too eager to answer, "Because I am ZIM!" He said this so loudly that Dib almost felt like telling him to shut up, but that wouldn't be very helpful to the poor, obviously quite confused and lost young man.

"I see," Dib mused slowly, "Well, I don't think it's good to fight people just because you feel superior to them," That's what video games were for, "I think this goes deeper than just wanting to feel better than other people."

"No," the young boy replied quickly and with a frown, "I just want to rule with an iron fist over you pathetic people."

"Do you really?" Dib couldn't help but press, "Zim I think this is deeper than that. You don't have to pick fights to prove yourself, there are other ways of impressing people if that's what you want."

"Really?" Zim suddenly seemed very intrigued by this and he leaned forward, "Tell me! Tell Zim of these other ways!"

Minor victory for Dib! He was progressing quickly with his very first case! He couldn't help a grin appearing on his face, "Well, you could try and express yourself through art, or a hobby."

"Yes!" Zim threw his arms up, "Zim will dominate the world through ART! No one will ever best Zim in the realm of this art you speak off! Then every human will bow before my might!"

"No, that's not what I meant," Dib replied quickly, "I meant you can express your feelings through art."

"Feelings? Zim only has one feeling, human," The young boy replied, standing on his chair, "And that is to CONQUER ALL LIFE."

The bell suddenly rang and Zim hopped off his chair, walking towards the door, however, Dib stood up, "Zim, wait, I want you to come back again."

"What for?" Zim replied, looking to Dib with a deep frown, "You've already told me everything I need to know."

"I think we should keep talking," the older man said simply, walking around his desk and noticing, again, just how very tiny Zim was. Even for his age group he was on the short side, "I'm going to sign you up to spend one dinner break every week talking to me."

"WHAT?" Zim turned around and growled loudly, "WHY SHOULD I FILTHY HUMAN!"

Why did he keep calling people filthy humans? Whatever, he could figure that one out later, "Because if you don't you'll have to see the headmaster." Dib replied with a frown, "And you really don't want that to happen."

"... fine," Zim spat out with a growl, "It won't matter much anyway when you're all enslaved to my will!"

As he slammed the door Dib sighed. There was certainly something much deeper than just aggression issues with that kid, but Dib couldn't think what. He leaned back onto his desk, wondering what exactly he'd just gotten himself into here...

* * *

_Hey guys, Invader Sid here. This was written up in like, one hour and was just off the top of my head, and I know it shows. Probably a ton of mistakes and whatnot._

Anyway, if this garners enough interest I'll keep writing it along with my other new story, if not, well consider it a oneshot. Just thought I'd put more content out there to raise my profile up again.

Regardless, read, enjoy, review and tell me what you thought! Bye dudes and dudettes!


	2. Your Secrets are Safe With Me

_So yeah, I really don't know why this is so popular but who am I to argue with the will of the people? _

_I still have only a small idea where this is going, but it's going to be character driven I feel. I'm working on themes/symbolism/imagery and all that, but as I said, it's very much a 'evolve as I go' kind of work. _

_Anyway, enjoy this chapter kids!  
_

* * *

Dib had to say he liked his job. He had helped about five kids already, as well as take care of a few other general issues which he had to deal with, mostly just boring things though, file filling and all that. But yes, this school which had once treated him so harshly was now... kinda nice to be in. Sure nothing here had been updated since he was a kid, but hell, it was his childhood school, and because of that, he felt like he could understand these kids much more.

However, he had been doing some checking on one child in particular. Zim. And he wasn't liking what he was finding. For one, the child had no last name. He was just Zim, that was all. Either he had very hippie parents, or there was something weird going on in that household. Second, that was another thing, his house simply wasn't on the records. In all actuality, it just seemed like he'd walked into the school, sat down and began taking lessons.

And yet no one had noticed this.

But Dib didn't bring it up, not yet. If he did, he risked breaking the breach of trust he was trying to establish with Zim, he had to make sure the boy was on his side before he began investigating his home life.

Right now he had scheduled Zim to come in on the lunch break of every Thursday. So for thirty minutes every day, he had to come in and talk to Dib.

That is if Zim even bothered showing up, the man had a feeling that the little green boy wasn't one for following orders for people he didn't like.

"Mr Membrane," A nasally voice rang through the intercom, "Zim's here to see you."

"Oh, good, send him in." Dib answered quickly, gathering his papers together and shoving them all into his drawer. He didn't need Zim seeing that he'd been looking at his school files.

The small green boy marched in, dressed and looking exactly like last time. It was almost kind of odd, hell even Dib had changed his tie since last week.

"PAH," He announced as he sat down on the small chair that was placed before the desk, "I should not be made to come to talk to you, human."

"Hello to you too." Dib replied with a smile, "How are you feeling today, Zim?"

"Bored," The little green boy replied quickly, "This skool is a waste of my time. Nothing taught here is correct, you humans have no idea abut anything! You can't even decided between two wrong theories about physics!"

"Why do you do that?" Dib asked with the tilt of a head, "Why do you keep calling me a 'human', you're human too you know."

"I AM NOT!" Zim screamed suddenly before his eyes went wide and he looked away, "I mean, yes I am a human. A normal human stink beast. Normal."

"... is this because you feel different?" Dib ventured tentatively, "Because you have green skin?"

"What? Oh, err, YES!" He pointed a finger up, "My skin condition makes me feel different!"

"... huh," Somehow, Dib just didn't buy that. It was obvious he'd just took that answer and threw it out there, and if it had worked on other people, it would not work on him. But than again, he hardly looked like any normal child. He had no nose or ears for one and as far as his file as concerned this was all part of his skin condition. Besides, Zim was always falling over his own words and terms, something Dib couldn't decide was on purpose or unconscious Freudian slips.

"Well, let's talk about that then," The counsellor said simply, folding his arms on the desk, "Do other kids pick on your for it?"

"What? No," Zim replied quickly, almost sounding like Dib was stupid for asking, "They never talk to me about anything."

... what was this? It seemed Zim was a loner, although by the sound of it, not by choice. "Why do think they don't."

"I don't know, I don't care," The kid replied simply, shrugging his shoulders, "They're not important to me."

"Everyone needs someone to talk to," The counsellor replied softly, "You talk to me after all, right?"

"... I guess," Zim hissed his words, obviously he didn't like talking to Dib. "But like I said, those pig smellys are not important to me."

"So who is important to you?" Dib asked with a smile, "Who do you like talking to?"

"My Tallest." The strange answer came almost immediately, but again, Zim seem to pause as if he realised he'd said something, "I mean! Parents! Teachers! The leaders or leader or king of whatever nation this is!"

Somewhere inside Dib, some age old suspicion was raised. What kind of person didn't know this country was run by a President? It was almost like... no, maybe he just immigrated here and he didn't know anything about the culture. It would fit to why he acted so outwardly aggressive and had no friends. Although if that was the case, how would he speak perfect English? Maybe he was European. Yeah that fit.

Still, he would focus on this first comment. "Who are your Tallest?" Dib asked quickly.

"No one!" Zim quickly denied with the shake of his head, "No one. Your smelly head doesn't need to know."

"Zim, you have to tell me at some point," The counsellor said simply, leaning back, "You have to keep coming here all semester."

"What if I just don't talk this whole time?" Zim replied with a sharp, cunning grin, "You will fail in your talking task!"

"What if I just keep making you come back here until your graduate, that's, what, almost two years until you get rid of me?" Dib chuckled and leaned forward again, "And believe me. I will make you come here every day for two years. We can just sit here and say nothing."

"FINE," Zim screeched, pointing a finger at the older man, "I'll talk, human, but I will never reveal information that betray my Tallest."

"You haven't even told me who they are," Dib slyly asked, hoping to catch his little companion out, "How could I not ask about them if I don't know about them?"

"They're my leaders," Zim spat out, but this time he chose his words carefully, "And that's all you need to know."

"Alright, alright," Dib knew he was getting nothing more on that subject from him for now. But still, he considered this a good start. He was starting to make some kind of sense with Zim's odd story and way of speaking.

Instead, he decided to pick apart other notes of Zim's argument. "So you said the other kids aren't important to you, why is that? Don't you want to make friends?"

"No," Zim commented quickly, "Zim needs no friends."

"Zim, you've got to have some friends," the counsellor commented, knowing the irony of his statement. He didn't make friends with anyone until he was about seventeen and doing his major in psychology and his minor in science. Hell he was almost thirty and he didn't have a girlfriend, something his father kept bringing up.

He was also getting sick of Gaz's gay jokes.

"I have to?" Zim commented suddenly, raising an eyebrow. "Is having a friend normal?"

"... yes." He couldn't let his own past push down on the poor boy. On one hand he wanted to tell him it was fine to be a loner, but he knew it wasn't completely true. Everyone needed a friend, especially a child who seemed as outwardly volatile and confused about the world as Zim.

"AH!" the little green boy exclaimed and grinned as if he'd stumbled onto some great secret, "Then Zim shall find himself a friend and be seen as normal!"

"That's great, Zim!" Dib replied with a smile, feeling somehow that this was a cheap victory at best, "You should go out and make friends!"

"Oh what friends I shall make," The green boy now seemed lost in his own world, wringing his hands in an almost menacing manner, however instead due to his small and skinny statue, it came off as rather comical. "And I shall make them into my slaves!" He suddenly burst into a harsh laughter before suddenly realising Dib was still there and looking to him, "Oh, I mean, erm, I will be... normal to them?"

Yeah, that there had to be addressed before Zim hurt himself. "Zim, you can't just make people your slaves," The counsellor replied with a small frown, "Friendship means you and someone else share interests, are equal and you treat each other nicely."

"What?" Zim seemed so blown away by this idea that his eyes even grew slightly wider, "Treat someone... nice? As an equal to the mighty Zim? It is not worth having friends if you have to do that!"

"But," Dib quickly went to reply, "It is what people do, Zim, you cannot just keep making people do what you want. You'll find that maybe if you work with other people, you might have fun. Just, try and go out and play some games with the other kids. You might like it."

The green boy quickly shook his head, "I refuse to treat anyone as equal to me. You humans make me sick, none of you are worth the appreciation of Zim."

"Why not?" Dib responded almost bluntly, "Zim everyone is equal and should be treated as much."

"You're not equal to me," Zim responded with a harsh tone, "You don't know the things I know!"

"But I know other things that you don't," the counsellor responded with a sly tone, "You could run faster than me, but I could jump higher than you. Through our differences, we become equal."

It was perhaps a little too philosophical for most students, but somehow Dib was sure Zim would understand this idea on some basic level. He was far smarter than he sounded, he could tell, his frustration at others probably came not just from his strange looks, but from his inability to even find someone equal to his intelligence. Even if it was highly pompous and egotistical of him, Dib could understand on some level what it was like to be surrounded by people who simply didn't understand the things that he did.

Hell, he had to wait until he was doing university level theoretical physics to find people he could talk to as an equal.

The boy too a moment to think on this, behind those purple eyes Dib could see a mind bouncing the idea around, and again, his thoughts were silently confirmed.

"I... see." He replied slowly, "You're not as stupid as the others, are you?"

"Hopefully not," Dib replied with a small smile, "You're the smartest kid I've ever met, Zim but if I'm being honest with you," He sighed and stood up, walking around his desk and sitting on the front of it, "I think you have a lot of problems and I think they stem from having no one to talk to."

"Fool," The child pointed up at the far taller adult, "I talk to lots of people! Like teachers! And Gir! And my Tallest!"

"Who's Gir?" Dib asked quickly.

"My... dog, my pet dog." Zim replied simply, looking away, "Gir is my dog."

Ah, so the boy's one outlet in his life was his dog. Other than school of course, which was never a good outlet anyway. He was glad that he'd made Zim come in every Thursday, he knew he could help the poor child, even if he knew for the first month or so he'd just be receiving all the abuse that Zim wanted to deal out to the world.

"Well, at least you have someone," He smiled softly, "That's good. But I want you to talk to me, Zim, whatever you say in here stays in this room. It's just between me and you," He knelt down so that he was now eye level with the green boy, "And I promise you I will never tell anyone anything that you don't want them to know, okay?"

Zim seemed greatly shocked by this, as if no one else before had ever really spoken to him eye to eye, or even made a promise like this to him. Dib's heart had to leap for the poor boy, and he wondered what kind of home life he must have when no one ever looked him in the eye or ever made a simple promise to him.

He blinked a few times before, again in Zim's infinite suspicion of the human, narrowed his eyes, "Why should I ever trust you, human."

"Because you can." Dib insisted, "Because that's what I'm here for."

"You're here... just to listen to me, the almighty Zim, talk?" The green boy asked suspiciously.

"Yep," The counsellor nodded. There was a sudden ringing in the background, lunch break was over and therefore so was their meeting. He stood up as Zim hopped off the chair, his face still a picture of confusion and suspicion.

The green boy paused at the door, looking back and frowned, "You're strange, even for a human. Were you in some program where they bashed your big head in with a door?"

"Almost!" Dib replied with a smile, hiding the inner sting he felt at the big head comment. He was a kid, couldn't get mad at a kid.

Zim walked off without saying goodbye and Dib watched him go. He had made a little ground this time, establishing that Zim had only his dog to talk to and he seemed to pay some great respect to his 'Tallest' most likely his parents. He would have to see if he could ever get some information on his parents, he really, really hoped they weren't abusing the small child, although he didn't get that vibe in particular.  
Rather, he got the impression that Zim was very lonely but also very smart. When you're different, smart and lonely, you tend to go a little bonkers.

Yeah, Dib could certainly relate to that.

* * *

_I like writing these chapters. They're so quickly done, and so easily designed too. Very minimal style or writing.  
_

_Like I said, it's character driven so far, whether Dib turns to fight Zim or turns to help him... I don't know. _

_Hopefully you guys will stick around to find out with me._

Review, critique, tell me what you'd like to see more/less off in future chapters! Until then, thanks for reading!  



	3. Too Close for Comfort

_Finally another chapter! I know I've kept you guys waiting a while for this, but as you all can tell, x-mas is approaching and my life has gone into STRESS OUT mode.  
Tis okay though, I'm coping. _

_Anyway, I've finally began hammering out... SOME kind of plot for this. It's not going to be super long, but I have decided to make a bunch of these 'What If' style stories for the future. They're pretty fun._

_Well onto this chapter, ENJOY._

* * *

Dib was slowly starting to feel what he now dubbed as 'the daily grind'. Work was horrifically boring, not to misunderstand him of course, he loved helping the kids who came to him, but once you've talked to one bullied kid you quickly find you've talked to them all. It was a horrible thing to say, but really, all they ever needed was a strong boost of confidence.

All the bullies often had parent issues and so far his main bread and butter cases were young girls who had zero self esteem. In some ways he was honestly worried at how many girls, not just shy ones but popular ones too, had such little belief in themselves.

Still, he had been prepared for it, this is after all what he'd been taught to do. But even so, out of all the cases he looked at, Zim was always the most intriguing. Something about the kid just fascinated him, perhaps because he could see a lot of himself in him.

Zim's imagination was truly boundless, always telling tales of vast spaceships, tall alien leaders and crazy adventures. Again, it was all the kind of thing he had loved as a kid, but there was one major difference. Dib's fantasy had always been to save Earth, Zim wished to destroy it.

The young boy had extreme anger issues, he was narcissistic, megalomaniacal and violent, yet, at the same time is lack of foresight and massive hubris rendered him harmless. No wonder Dib considered Thursday lunchtimes his favourite part of the working week. Even now he prepared himself for Zim's spot-on twelve-thirty arrival.

The door swung open and in marched the young green boy, frowning deeply. Inwardly Dib quickly knew it was going to be one of his 'listening' sessions.

"Hello Zim," he announced from behind his desk, "How are we today?"

"Shut your noise tube human," Zim barked as he took his chair, "Zim is fine."

"You're always fine," Dib replied with a smile, "But your frown says otherwise." His smile faded slightly, "Come on Zim, we talked about this, you can say anything here and it'll never leave this room."

"... I don't want to talk about it," the little boy hissed, crossing his arms, "It does not concern you, human."

Dib sighed, he hated it when Zim did this. He had an annoying habit of closing up around things that Dib knew were hard hitting. If only he could get the young boy to open up... "Well, why don't you just tell me how, whatever it was, makes you feel?" Dib asked innocently, knowing it was a textbook way to trap Zim into giving an answer.

Zim seemed to give Dib a highly suspicious glare before he looked ot one side, "The... thing makes me feel angry."

"Why angry?" Dib pressed softly, "Did this thing hurt you?"

"No," Zim's eyes flicked away, almost shamefully, "It just... It makes Zim feel angry because it means Zim isn't being the best."

"The best at what?" The older man asked, leaning forward.

"My mission," The green boy replied almost casually before his eyes widened and he looked back to the older man, "I MEAN! Skool work! Not best in skool work!"

Yeah, Dib had learned Zim tended to do this. He was full of slips, but yet, he never let on what those slips were about. It was strange, he suspected it had something to do with never being listened too, maybe his subconscious let these little hints out to try and draw people in. Of course, the moment he did draw someone's interest he immediately closed up about everything.

Again, Zim was a troubled boy, his mind seemed to be a train-wreck of pressures, repressed feelings, anger and depression.

"Zim," the counsellor addressed suddenly, standing up walking around the desk, pulling his chair along with him so he could sit closer to the boy, "Tell me what's bothering you. Please."

"No," the green boy replied shaking his head, "You cannot know. If you know, I'd have to destroy you."

"Why?" Dib asked, sitting down before him, "What's so terrible about this mission?" A sudden terrible thought hit him that maybe Zim might be being abused by his parents and this 'mission' was to keep it quiet.

But Zim didn't seem like the abused type, again, he just seemed to be completely ignored by the world.

"It is not terrible," The little green boy snapped back, his eyes locking with Dib's, "It is glorious and you can't know about it."

"Well, why don't you just tell me what you feel about this mission," The counsellor said simply, deciding that even if he wouldn't reveal what it was, he could still talk about his feelings.

"I told you, human, I feel that I am not being the best," There was a deep anger under his voice, "but that only means that I have been slacking. I can do better, push myself harder."

Dib... wasn't too sure how to take this. On one hand, yes, it was good that he was pushing himself to do better, but on the other, it was for all the wrong reasons. He should be pushing himself for his own gratification, not for these Tallest he kept talking about.

"Zim, tell me," The man asked slowly, "What is it about this mission that is so important."

"What?" The green boy replied quickly, his grey-purple eyes growing wide, "That's a stupid question! It's important because... it's important!"

"But what do you get out of it?" The counsellor pushed. "What kind of reward do you see yourself as getting?"

The boy thought about this for a moment before jumping up onto his chair, "I will be hailed as the greatest! I will be glorified forever and all will look up to me!"

"I see, is that what you want out of life?" Dib asked slowly, carefully, not wanting to let Zim onto the fact that he was essentially unravelling his problems. Zim was one of those kinds of kids were you had to divert them with one hand whilst getting what you want with the other.

"Yes!" The young boy continued to exclaim loudly, "I want all to see my genius and warrior might, then everyone who ever-" He stopped suddenly, his mouth hanging open and his expression moving from pride to... worry. Dib had never seen him do this before, but he knew just for a moment there, he'd almost hit something. Something very important.

"I'm leaving," Zim suddenly announced, dropping from his chair and striding to the door. Dib however reached it before him, putting a hand across it and standing there, looking down on him. The green boy glared up at him, his voice taking on a surprisingly menacing tone, "Move out of my way, Membrane-monster."

"No," Dib replied sternly, "Zim you have to stay here until the bell rings."

"I don't care!" The boy screeched back at him, and yet, despite his anger Dib could hear something else in there, hidden under his rage. Zim was scared of something. "You said you were here to listen to me! Well listen to me now and GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"I'm here to help you," The counsellor replied, "And I can't do that if you keep walking away every time you're about to open up!"

"I know your game," The child threatened suddenly, pointing an oddly sharp looking finger at him, "You're trying to get me to expose my weaknesses! To better defeat me in battle! Well it won't work! I'm a highly trained warrior and your mind-tricks will NOT work on me!"

"Zim please-" The counsellor went to continue, but Zim screamed, cutting him off.

"LET ME GO HUMAN OR I WILL HURT YOU IN WAYS YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN HURT!" The little boy's scream was so loud, so terrible that Dib was honestly shocked. His hand let go of the door knob and instantly the green boy took advantage, pushing the taller man to one side and throwing it open, storming out.

Dib stood for a moment, wondering just what the hell had happened. Zim didn't seem to act like any other kid in the school, hell, the reaction he just had been one of an angry adult. This was... weird. He slowly made his way back over to his desk, sitting down and frowning. That hadn't gone like he wanted it to go, hell, he would probably have to drag Zim back into their next session together.

He walked over and sat back down on his chair, feeling... horrible. He was failing this child, he knew it. Perhaps he was being too eager to break him down and sort him out. Dib had develloped a tendency to see each child as a puzzle, once you understood how the puzzle worked, you could simply break it down and resort it.

Zim was... proving hard to sort.

After a few moments of feeling bad for himself, he decided to go to the teachers lounge and get some coffee, he might as well get ready for whatever it was he was doing next. To supplement his counselling hours, the school also put him in charge of helping kids with grade issues, career options, that kind of thing as well as make him a sort of personal general grades tutor. He guessed they did that because of his genius level IQ.

Right now he was helping some kid who really, _really_ sucked at maths try to get a B. It was difficult but by explaining everything in Transformers form he was starting to make a break through.

However, as he walked down the corridor, passing a bunch of giggling little girls, he paused. There, on his right, was a door marked 'Personal Files'.

A sudden age old temptation sparked into life again, one which he hadn't felt since he was a small child running around chasing shadows of ghosts and thinking that big-foot was using his belt sander.

It was the urge to investigate a mystery.

He shook his head suddenly, no, no! He couldn't just go rooting around in Zim's personal files just because he wanted to crack an annoying hard puzzle. It was cheating! But than again, wasn't he just doing his job as a counsellor? Didn't he have full access, as a member of the education system in the school, to look at any child's personal file at any given time?

Dib was honestly torn, he couldn't just go back to snooping about again, he wasn't a child, he was an adult with a serious job and a major lack of a lovelife.

... but Zim did threaten to hurt him. Okay, cheating this once wouldn't hurt.

He unlocked the room with his staff key, shutting it quickly behind him like he suspected someone to be after him at any moment. He could feel the little kid in his heart, the one he'd locked away years ago, jumping about free again. Hell, in that moment, he almost felt a little cold without his old trench coat.

Dib wished he'd never threw it away, he had so many memories attached to that coat.

Still, he was on a mission now. He moved quickly, quietly through the room, looking through the many files for the one which Zim would be in. He knew already that Zim only had the one name, Zim, which was... weird, but at least it made him easy to find.

The room itself was shockingly cold, the school probably couldn't afford to keep it heated, and he shivered as he moved through the large, almost looming file cases. His footsteps seemed to echo on the panel floor, and he felt a strange sense of dread move into him, as if he'd stepped into some forgotten and old place which disliked it's silence being interrupted.

The counsellor focused on his mission, to find that file and see what information the school had on the strange green child. He finally found it, the Z-file, right on the bottom of the last cold metal cabinet.

As he knelt down, he felt even more like the room was looming over him, towers of metal monoliths glaring down, surrounding him. He gulped his nervousness away as he pulled the drawer open, it seemed to groan and hiss with rust, making Dib wince visibly. Again he felt like the room hated him and wished this unwelcome intruder gone from it's presence.

He began quickly flicking through the files, rushing past names of kids he'd never know until he found it and as he did so, he felt his inner child grow more bold, demanding that he open it and read the precious information.

Dib felt his fingers shake just slightly as he opened the file, sitting on the freezing cold and dirty floor as his eyes locked onto the file. It had a picture, taken on picture day apparently, where Zim looked like he was extremely pissed that a camera was pointed at his face.

He almost chuckled at it, than his eyes moved to the information.

Name, Zim. Age, 12. Bloodtype, unknown. Birthday, unknown. Father's name, unknown, Mother's name, unknown.

For a moment, the counsellors mouth dropped open as he read the whole file. There was nothing, literally, nothing on this file. Almost ever other piece of information was listed as 'unknown'. It was... incredible, and yet, this told him so much about the boy. It told him that whatever his home life was, it was closed off to the public. It told him that his parents most likely were crazy. It told him that there was a very high risk of some kind of abuse going on.

Perhaps most sadly, it told him just how utterly isolated from the world Zim might really be.

However, one small thing caught his attention, something he quickly noted down on his Iphone before leaving, scurrying out of the dark, grim place before whatever was lurking between the cabinets could strike at him and steal him from the world forever.

The address of Zim's home.

* * *

_Well as always I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, and it ended on a pretty nice cliffhanger I thought. I didn't like the... I dunno, the way I played about with this chapter? The structure is a little haphazad and maybe the dialogue with Zim leaving was too quick._

_But I did like that I finally got out of Dib's office and that we saw for the first time that Zim DOES have something locked in that crazy green mind of his that Dib's hammering is getting too._

_As always I encourage feedback! What you liked, didn't like, what you might wanna see in the future, don't be afraid to tell me! _

_Read, review and I'll see you all next update!  
_


	4. Zim's House

_I write a lot of stuff don't I? Bah, I write because I care... I guess. That or my head would explode if I kept all my ideas locked up inside it. BUT WHATEVER! This is an update for the chapter so... YEAH.  
_

_Enjoy and stuff!  
_

* * *

Okay, this was starting to get a little weird. Dib looked up at the green house, back to the address in his hand, than back to the house. He... really couldn't believe this place existed. It looked liked it was designed by a three year old, plus, it was creepy as hell.

What the was with the gnomes? And the Earth flag? And he considered _his_ apartment to be run down. Wow. Dib gathered himself however, this was the kind of stuff that'd he'd been in uni for. Besides, again his inner child was urging him on, telling him to investigate, to find out, to uncover the mysteries of this strange little boy.

He pulled his black jacket around him tighter, wishing that his pockets were deeper. He felt the odd need to have more than just his keys and iphone with him. Still, he could at least note down anything he found weird and report back.

Walking up to the front door, he forced himself to ignore the eyes of the gnomes. He could swear that they were watching him. Damn this was creepy, no wonder Zim had problems, he'd be depressed too if he had to live in this crazy place.

He knocked on the door and waited patiently, wondering just what he was about to walk into here. God he felt like a slave before lions, this house looked liked it could chew him alive if he walked into it's horrible jagged mouth.

There was a pause before suddenly the door was pulled open and standing before Dib were two... people? He couldn't tell, their eyes were dead, their grins seemed painted on and their movements jagged and strange, as if their bodies were only getting echos of what their brain was telling them.

"Welcome home, son!" The mother and father spoke in unison with an almost auto-tuned voice.

"... kaaay," Dib replied slowly, raising his hands up just slightly in some kind of unconscious defence. "Erm, Mr and Mrs... Zim?" Yeah, it was weird talking to two people who had no last name, "I'm Dib Membrane, I'm your son's skool counsellor."

They must have known about him, the skool had sent them a letter saying why he was being counselled, and Dib assumed they'd signed the form saying it was okay. Although he now suspected that Zim may well have forged the signatures.

"What has Billy done this time?" The man asked, waving his... clamp? Why did he have a clamp for a hand?

"No, not Billy, I'm talking about your son, Zim." Dib insisted, wondering if he started running now maybe he could be back in his car before they tried to abduct him.

"You're so skinny!" The woman suddenly cried. "You need something to eat!"

Dib went to protest but the woman grabbed him by the shoulders and practically threw him into the house. He went flying onto a surprisingly comfortable but very dirty couch. However, he quickly recovered and jumped up, now utterly convinced that he should probably phone the police or the crazy house or something.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" He shouted suddenly, "I just want to talk about your son!"

"Mastah has gone out for SNAAACKS!" A sudden high pitched voice came from behind him, "He's gettin me a slurpie!"

The counsellor spun around, wondering just who the hell this was, however, he saw no one, well, that is until he looked down and spotted a green dog. Standing on it's hind legs. With a zipper on the front of it's incredibly dirty fur.

His stomach dropped for a moment. "Did... you just speak?"

"HAAAAI!" The dog leapt up and grabbed his leg tightly. "You're head is BEEEG."

Okay Dib, stay calm, this can all be explained with logic and reason and wasn't just some waking nightmare he was having. Either way he knew he now had two missions, one was to get the hell out of this house, the other was to find Zim and detain him until social services bulldozed this place into the ground.

No wonder the poor kid was so messed up!

"Come on, let's make mashed potatoes! With Soap!" The parents rushed past him and Dib suddenly noticed that they didn't actually have any legs, just... a wheel. The realisation hit him like the force of a bomb.

They were robots. All of these things, they were all robots. No wonder they acted so weirdly, their AI must be breaking!

Slowly a smile formed on his face and he relaxed, although not completely, he'd seen enough of his dad's robots go insane with just simple errors in their AI to know not to let his guard down around broken machinery. "Oh, okay, Zim's home life is run by machines..." This brought a small frown to his face, "That... isn't normal."

"Imma not a machine!" The dog shouted suddenly from his leg, "Imma Gir!"

"Gir?" Dib raised an eyebrow at this, looking down at the strange little android, "Well, erm, Gir, how about you show me around the house?"

The dog suddenly jumped back and in a terrifying display of aggression, the eyes of the dog grew a vicious red and from his head sprang about six different weapons, at least two guns and the rest seemed to be cutting weapons, one loud one was a buzzsaw. "NONE MAY ENTER THE MASTERS BASE!"

"AGH!" Dib jumped back, putting his hands up quickly, "Alright, alright!"

The weapons vanished and the dog's eyes went back to being that strange cyan, "Say pleeeaaase."

"... please?" These machines were seriously broken, he'd never seen such a strong case for regular debugging in his life.

"OKAY," The robot-dog turned and pointed to the ceiling, "This is master's living roooom." He began walking on, Dib following tentatively behind, wondering just if this was such a good idea or not. And yet, inside he felt so excited, this was incredible, he'd never heard of machines raising a boy, but yet, he knew it was something deeper.

Why raised by robots? Why the dog? Why the disguises? What exactly was going on in this strange home?

"And this is the masters kitcheeeen," Gir waved his arms about and Dib looked on, watching the two robo-parents smashing into each other in front of the over, arguing to each other about who was to 'cook the roast'.

The little green dog walked towards the toilet, wait, what? Why was there a toilet in his kitchen? However, this question was answered when Gir pushed the flusher, and the toilet vanished under the floor, being replaced by an eerily lit lift.

Dib's jaw almost dropped the the ground. What... was this place? He was beginning to suspect that something much more terrible than just ignoring a child was going on here, and considering how horrible he thought ignoring children was, it was pretty damn terrible.

He carefully followed the little green robot, standing on the elevator. It kicked into motion, taking them down and shutting over the top of them. Everything was now a strange pink with purple and red flashes.

"This is masters liiiiift," Gir explained in his strange high pitched drone, "It takes us to places!"

"I can see," Dib mumbled, wondering why the same strange insignia kept flashing past him. His inner child was screaming the answer at him, but his adult mind refused to listen. It was just... too crazy.

The elevator stopped and a pair of large metal doors opened to reveal a long corridor that reminded Dib far too much of H.R. Giger art. No, no, he couldn't be that, it was stupid. This could all be explained somehow. Maybe his real parents built all this, or maybe he had built it all himself... somehow.

"This is masters walky space!" Gir cried out, bouncing forwards, "It's for walkin in!"

Dib followed slowly, marvelling at the strange architecture of the laboratory. It was most certainly a lab as well, he'd seen enough of them in his lifetime to know a place of experimentation and knowledge when he saw one. Though it was like no lab he'd ever seen before in his life. The very design seemed like something Telsa would dream of.

It felt so... natural, but not. A weird and almost scary mix of organic looking shapes and cold machinery. A far cry from the sterile, square and absolutist look of every other lab he'd been in.

Gir led him into a huge open space, in the middle was a strange looking object. It reminded Dib of the prototype personalised spacecraft his father had been constructing lately. Except... blobbier if that made any sense.

"And dis is mastah's flyin roooom," Gir waved his stubby little arms in the air before walking on,

However, as he did so, a sudden loud voice rang out through the base, making Dib jump. "Master Zim has returned home."

"... he has to explain this," Dib announced to himself, his old habits coming back. It seemed that in the face of these amazing mysterious, this fantastic base and all within it, he was falling back into his old ways... his inner investigator was springing up. "He has to. This is too amazing..."

"Mastah will be down in a moment," Gir replied with the wave of an arm, "Lemmie call him. MASTAAAAAAH!"

The sound of Gir's shouting was almost deafening, hell, it was so loud that Dib practically dived onto the floor and covered his ears with his hands to stop them from bursting. Damn that robot was annoyingly loud.

However, from somewhere within the home he heard a small whirring, and he knew that Zim was coming down the elevator.

He felt weirdly nervous and giddy. How was Zim going to explain about all this?Considering the boy had stormed out on him in their last session, he may not be best pleased to find the counsellor now standing in the secret laboratory buried under his home. He would have to handle this very, very carefully.

"GIR!" A shout rang out through the house, "I thought I told you to stay upstairs and guard the base from intruders!"

The small child walked down the hall, however, he seemed to have his hands on his eyes. Wait, why did he have his hands on his eyes? And where was his hair?

Then Zim looked up and Dib didn't see the young boy he'd been counselling for the past few weeks.

He saw ruby red eyes and a pair of sharp, insecticidal looking antennae.

Horror filled Dib as he realised something which his instincts had been screaming at him this whole time, but his adult mind refusing to believe in.

Zim was an alien.

* * *

_Enjoy that? Well I didn't. So far it's the weakest chapter, but that's because I fell out with this story about halfway through writing it. I hated this story so much that I thought about deleting it from the site, I was that angry.  
_

_Why I hear you ask? Well, I won't tell you, but it was essentially because it was the style of the story. _

_But I am over that now. Either way I feel this chapter is... kinda short, uneventful and not very good, so I ended it on a cliffhanger to keep people excited. _

_NEXT CHAPTER IS ALL ABOUT ZIM AND DIB AND ALIENS AND STUFF WUUUUUT. _

_Till next time kids! Read, review, all that good stuff!  
_


	5. A New Best Friend

_YES! Finally an update on this beloved little story from me. As I said in my other story 'While the Cat's Away' (it's a ZAGR story if you guys wanna check it out) I took a rather long sabbatical from writing to do coursework, travel to see my beloved and basically get Christmas and New Year over and done with. _

_Now that they are over and done with, I can hopefully get back on track with updating at a semi-regular basis. _

_I really, REALLY dislike the beginning of this chapter... I actually think my writing utterly failed through most of this, but I kept on going. I do like the ending though. _

_ANYWAY, I'll leave you dudes to read on. enjoy!_

* * *

Dib couldn't believe it. Standing before him was an alien, a real alien. It was as if all of Dib's world had just shattered around him like a stone hitting a film of ice over a lake. The air seemed heavy in his lungs and he wanted to be sick. This was a shock to the system so great that he could barely keep himself standing.

"W-w-what are you?" the question seemed stupid beyond belief, but he had to hear it from Zim's mouth.

The alien looked at Dib with a mixture of anger and confusion. However, he did not address the human, instead, his eyes turned to Gir standing beside him. "Gir! Detain the intruder!"

Before Dib could react, he heard a vicious sounding, "Yes my lord!" and a strong pair of metallic arms wrapped themselves like rope around the councillor.

"GEDDOFFME!" Dib shouted, immediately struggling against the robots way-too-tight hug. It was fruitless however, and he quickly found himself toppling over.

He let out a loud 'agh' as he fell to the ground, Gir's arms digging deeply into his sides. He looked forward, only to see the solid black boot of Zim.

As he turned his eyes upward, he found himself looking into the eyes of his alien captor, who only grinned viciously down a him. "I told you to leave me alone, human." He chuckled in a remarkably evil manner. "Now I guess I'll have to destroy you."

Dib heard some mechanical thing move from behind him, and suddenly he felt several hundred bolts of electricity go through him like his entire body was being set on fire.

Then he knew only darkness.

When he awoke he opened his eyes slowly. There was a very bright light above him, making his eyes burn. He groaned as suddenly the feeling in his body kicked back in and every inch of him ached.

He squinted and turned his head... Or tried. He found that he could barely move. It seemed Zim had strapped his body down completely.

Zim! What had that vicious alien done to him? He didn't feel like anything was wrong, but he couldn't be sure what with his every limb strapped to a table.

Suddenly, blocking the shining lamps above him where a pair of bright, wide cyan eyes. "Mastah! The big head man's awake!"

Dib blinked again, trying to force his eyes to focus. They'd taken his glasses, dammit, he could barely see a few feet ahead of him. Gir's metallic face was clear enough though, cold metal skin and a big wide grin.

"Ahh, good," from somewhere behind him Zim's harsh cackle was heard, "We can begin the experiment."

"Z-Zim?" Dib called out almost hopelessly, "What are you doing?"

The fear in his voice was obvious, but he knew he would never be able to hide it even if he tried.

"I'm going to replace your brain with that of a squid," Zim explained with an undeniable malicious glee, "making you harmless."

The very idea sounded insane, he couldn't really expect this to work could he? Well, he had been counselling him for several weeks so... Yeah, he was pretty sure Zim would go through with it.

"Stop!" Dib cried out fruitlessly, straining against his straps, "Don't!"

"Oh poor filthy human," Zim seemed to chuckle poisonously, "Do you think anything can save you? You're alone in my lab with no allies and by irked rules of war I can do whatever I wish with captured prisoners."

"Can't you just make me clean up the place or something?" Dib offered fruitlessly.

"Hum, maybe," the alien, apparently called an Irken, answered in a weirdly harmless tone before he snapped back to his cruelty, "NO! Prepare to have a squid brain, Membrane-monster!"

However, as if gifted by pure providence, a disembodied digitalised voice suddenly called out, "Master Zim, there is someone at the door."

"Let the robo-parents deal with it," the Irken cried out, infuriated at being interrupted.

"They both put their heads in the oven and are out of commission." The computer replied with what Dib could have sworn was a note of laughter.

"Uuugh," Zim muttered something under his breath about 'building good robots' and Dib could hear the Irken begin to walk away, "Gir, guard the prisoner until I return."

There was a quick, "Yes my lord!" and Dib suddenly felt something land on top of him, almost knocking the wind out of him.

The large cyan eyes of Gir appeared before him with a tongue lolling out of the robots mouth. "Hiya!"

"Erm, hi," Dib managed to breathe out. Wow, this robot was heavier than he looked.

Dib had to think of a way out of this. He couldn't just let himself get brain-swapped by some crazy little green alien. A tiny part of scolded him for that internal remark, Zim wasn't crazy, he was just troubled.

No, focus on getting the hell out of here. He tried struggling against the bonds again but he was held down way too tightly. The original panic was settling now, his one seventy five IQ kicking back in and telling him the key to escape was not through struggle but through exploiting the little robot sitting on his chest.

"Hey, Gir," Dib managed to say after a few breaths, "We're friends, right?"

"I dunno," Gir replied, oddly scratching his metal head in thought, "We is?"

"Yes we is!" The councillor said quickly, matching Gir's speech quickly, "And you know what friends do? They don't tie 'em to tables!"

"They don't?" Gir replied again, his eyes growing wide at this information.

"No they don't," Dib managed a small smile, "So why don't you untie me?"

The robot seemed to think about it for a moment before grinning, "Hokay!" Gir then jumped of Dib's chest and quickly began tearing, literally, the bonds off Dib's body.

The moment he was free, Dib scrambled off the table and moved away from it, looking at his surroundings and eventually, through the haze of the world around him, spotting a small table with his glasses and keys on it. Grabbing them both, he put the keys in his pocket and the glasses on his face, finally looking around the room. It was some kind of examination room, but filled with, sickeningly, pickled specimens of random animals. Thankfully none of them human.

Dib wished he had a camera, all of this was incredible, he could become famous overnight with just one picture, hell, even a picture of Gir would suffice.

No, right now he had to escape out the base before Zim got back. Again Dib knew his best chance was with the small robot.

"You're my best friend now, Gir!" Dib explained with a forced happiness.

"YAAAY!" the small robot seemed utterly overjoyed win this news and practically leapt onto Dib to hug him. "I love you big head man."

Were all invading robots from space as dumb as this one? "I love you too, Gir, and I'm going to home and make you a big cake, okay? So why don't you show me the exit?"

"Okay!" the robot dropped off Dib and quickly began marching towards the door. Dib had to wonder if this was a trap, was the robot honestly That stupid? But he realised that he had no choice, it was follow Gir or get lobotomised.

The robot was honest and soon they were arriving in Zim's front room. Dib however did not breathe a sigh of relief, rather, he wanted to close the distance between himself and that door as soon as he possibly could.

However, his hand barely hit the door before he heard to loud crashes behind him and he turned, seeing the robo-parents once again.

"He's leaving without giving us a hug!" The dad shouted in a clearly annoyed voice.

"How rude!" The mother shouted before her arms shot forward, "COME HERE!"

Dib threw open the door and began legging it down the garden, the sound of the two insane robots chasing after him. He didn't turn his head however, years of running from bullies in high school had got that one into him. He could hear the robots practically destroying the door behind him and throwing themselves like creatures possessed down the driveway.

The therapist grabbed his keys out of his pocket, unlocking his car, practically diving into it and slamming it just, just in time for the two robots to crash into the side of his precious car, making two huge dents into the metal.

Dib didn't wait around to see what they'd do, and he floored it, the car leaping into action with a slight roar and skidding down the street, hoping to God that he'd never ever see that house, those parents, that robot or, dare he say it, Zim ever again.

However, already ten minutes down the road Dib's mind began to reel. How could that have happened? Was any of it real? Did he dream it? Surely that troubled little boy couldn't be some kind of crazy psychopathic alien bent on killing people? If so, why was he still here and not vaporised by now, it had been months since Zim had landed after all.

The questions exploded in his mind, flooding his being with a forgotten sense of wonder and investigation. He had to know, he had to find out. Next meeting he was, wait, next meeting?

He frowned to himself, he was pretty sure that Zim was never coming to another one of their sessions ever again, not after that.

So what now? He finally slowed his car, convinced that he wasn't being followed. He was almost home anyway, it'd only be a few more minutes. His apartment was small, but suited for his needs and besides, it wasn't like he could get anything else on his budget.

Dib frowned slowly to himself, looking back over his shoulder. He was pretty sure Zim would try and get him again tonight, he had spent enough time on the fringes of Zim's mind to know how the young boy... alien felt about revenge.

As he turned into the parking lot under his apartment block, he frowned to himself softly. Dammit Zim... why did he have to go and be an friggin alien?

* * *

_Have fun with that guys? I know I didn't! I had a huge case of writers block on this chapter, and I probably dealt with the whole 'Zim being an alien' thing wrong, but I did like the way Dib gets out of this and all. I'm also going to quit writing chapters to this on my itouch because it's HELL to edit later on. _

_Anyways, please tell me what you liked, didn't like, what you thought I could have done better on etc. FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS GOOD. _

_See you next update!_


	6. Unleashing Your Inner Child

_TIME FOR AN UPDATE KIDDIES. This chapter is very Dib-heavy and we finally get to see a little bit more of what Dib did when Zim just didn't bother showing up in his childhood. How did that really effect him? _

_Turns out, not very well. But than again, can anyone say that Dib is really sane in the show? I can't. _

_Enjoy reading comrades!  
_

* * *

Dib's apartment wasn't anything really special. It had one large fish tank, a couch, a big TV and other essentials that any bachelor living in the city would need. He was lucky he had the Membrane name attached to him, otherwise he may well have never got it.

And yet, even though he had long thrown away the idea that aliens could possibly exist, there was still evidence of that old belief still there. A map of the solar system on one wall, an extensive collection of sci-fi DVD's, a vintage 'The Truth is Out There' poster in his bedroom.

Now however it seemed that it was all he could think about.

Aliens were real, Zim was real, that whole experience was real. And yet it seemed so fantastic and dreamlike in some ways, to have all your childhood fantasies come to life and rush at you was something that shocked him to his core.

He paced around his apartment, his hair messy, his eyes wide and his skin pale. He hadn't eaten or drank since he had gotten home. He had just wrote down everything he had seen and heard and now was waiting for the next step.

But what was this next step? Was he to phone the police? Phone the school? What? It was so deflating and sobering to realise that he really had no idea what to do. He had dreamt of this since his childhood and now that it had happened he had no next step to take.

He likened it to meeting one's heroes... meet one's nightmares face to face and they are rendered so real as to be utterly powerless. Aliens were real and they were tiny angry little things who had insane robots.

Dib fell onto his couch, all this thinking was giving him a headache and considering he was a genius that was an awful lot of thinking.

Again he cursed Zim for his irritating habit of finding SOME way to keep on his mind and bug the hell out of him without even trying that hard. Now it was just his existence that annoyed Dib, and yet, he still couldn't fully believe that Zim was really the vicious little thing he acted like. That scene still played in his head, the one where Zim was so close to saying _something_ about himself, something true... then he broke and walked away.

He wanted so much to expose Zim to the world, to tell them all that he was never crazy, he was right and that aliens did exist... but he still wanted to know why? Why here? Why now? And even more puzzling, why had he yet to rule earth?

Again, this was giving him a headache and thus he got up to go to his medicine cabinet. He would have to decide on this later, whether to pretend this never happened and move on, or, get some of his dad's equipment and capture the little alien.

For now, he needed to at least begin to prepare his home against any invasion. He could feel an old sense of paranoia returning and for a moment, he remembered that time in his life when he was so terrified of possible invasion from the alien menace that he boarded up his room and his father had to break through the door to get him out.

He knew that was really the point when his belief began slipping, some time in a mental institution for paranoia and obsessive behaviour towards his perceived supernatural enemies had broken him down.

And in many ways he did not regret it. It had been self destructive to be chasing down people and tackling them in belief they were fish-men or vampires. It had made his entire high school life hell, orchestrated him from all other around him.

Keeping him under watch and care of therapists had broken him down and finally made him realise just what he was doing to himself, as well as give him real time to sit and think about what he was going to do with his life.

By seeing his doctor every day, he had slowly but surely come to realise that the paranormal was beyond his reach and his obsessive behaviour towards it had caused him to become lonely and given him a life long battle with insomnia. His paranoia had broken his family from him and added only to his delusional belief that something was going to get him and kill him and the people he cared about.

When he'd finally admitted he might be wrong about the supernatural, it'd been like a weight lifting of his shoulders. Towards the end of his four month stay in that place, he was no longer asking about if the cafeteria worker was a yeti, but asking the doctors just how they got their degrees and the work involved with it.

He wanted to help people but he would do it by the practical methods of sitting down and just listening and talking to those like himself, the lonely and troubled ones, not by killing werewolves or giving autopsies on aliens.

Yes he still held a knowledge that most people were stupid and ignorant, but that was something all people came to deal with in their own way. He knew that his father and sister weren't perfect, Gaz was cold and emotionless and spent way too much time on her work... much like his father, who's workaholic tendencies made him forget his own children's birthdays.

But he also knew Gaz was dedicated to their family, it was always her to drag Dib and their father together at birthdays, Christmas and thanksgivings and his dad had always given them everything they needed, money for university and good placements, even getting them cars and helping them afford the initial payments on their homes.

Yes it wasn't the kind of huggy, kissy lovey family that most people probably had... but each cared for each other in their own, awkward way.

Dib found himself shoving a chair against the main door, wondering if he was going a little too far here. No, this was a real threat, for the first time ever this was a real, deadly threat that had only tried to cut his brain out only a little time ago.

Just as long as he didn't start putting boards over his windows he wouldn't have to phone any of his old doctors up. Besides, he was smart, he was a therapist himself. This was justifiable! This was not crazy!

He looked back at his work, knowing that the next morning he was going to have to go back to work and put himself in direct confrontation with Zim... which wouldn't be very pleasant.

Sighing however, he decided that he might as well prep his work and get ready for tomorrow, feeling secure enough with a huge chair in front of his door. Zim was a tiny guy, and he doubted that the alien would ever be able to move an object on his own... unless he had some kind of horrible strength that Dib didn't know about.

He paused on this. Other than Zim being an alien, he didn't really know much about him. It was obvious that everything he'd been told about Zim's skin condition and other physical elements was a complete lie.

Here he was, with proof of alien existence just a quick drive down the road and he was _hiding_ from it!

Dib felt suddenly torn, he could leave the nice warm confines of his home to go out hunting for some information on Zim, or he could stay here and hope that tonight the alien didn't blow down his door and start ruining his lovely pad.

Well, he supposed that if he spied on Zim just a little bit, then at least he'd know what he was going up against. Right? Besides, surely any extra knowledge about Zim was worth it, anything to better understand the mind of the troubled little alien.

Dib pushed the chair back away from his door and strode out, knowing just where to go. It took him an hour and thirty minutes but he arrived at his dad's lab with a giddy and childish sense of glee about him.

It took another hour to get in, he had to convince the guards that he was related to the professor before finally a passing lab assistant recognised him and let him in. Seriously, people were so dumb nowadays, it was pretty obvious by the glasses, hair and eyes that he and the Professor were related.

Soon however he was walking out with a bunch of advanced spying equipment, binoculars, recorders etc. He loved that his dad had military contracts to fill as he got all the spare prototype stuff.

However, driving through town, he felt like something was... missing somehow. He couldn't just stalk about outside Zim's home with a bunch of camera in a white shirt, could he? No, he needed something to cover himself with and not to mention keep warm.

What about... a coat? It'd need to be a long coat, he had to cover his legs as well.

He stopped at a traffic light and turned his head casually, simply looking out the window for looking sake. There he saw it... that long black trench coat sitting in the window of some goth shop. He had to have it, it was perfect. Large pockets, lots of storage room, jet black and warm.

He pulled into the car parking lot and again, in no time at all he was in the shop's changing room, the coat in his hands. He had a flashback to his childhood, the throwing away of his old trench coat...

Dib bought it and put it on, something telling him how... right this felt. This was something he was supposed to do, he was born to do. He marched out of the shop, now looking considerably more... matrix-esk than before.

The sun was going down, something that with all his preparing he'd forgotten to even notice. Dammit, he would have to avoid spying on the irken tonight, he still had work to prepare for his various mini-jobs in the skool... but tomorrow night?

He smiled to himself as he climbed back into his car, feeling his inner child finally and utterly unleashed.

* * *

_I noticed when reading back through this that I make a LOT of mistakes in typing stuff up here and the continuality of this story is bloody awful. _

_STILL, I actually liked this chapter for a change, amazing huh? _

_Read, review, tell me what you think. I looove da feedback dawgs. _

_Till next time, PEACE!_


	7. Dib's Burst Balloon

_FINALLY. SID HAS UPDATED! Dammit, it doesn't sound as epic as The Rock when I say it. Anyways yes, I'm sorry it took forever for me to update, just... yeah, anyone who reads my journal on DA would know why. _

_For those not in the know. One word. STRESS. _

_Anyway yes, I finally updated and I... sort of like this chapter? I like how Dib's bubble is totally deflated here and we also see how this Zim-Dib rivalry will be shaped. It's fun. _

_Enjoy kids._

* * *

Dib was so ready for this. He sat back in his chair, his long trench coat draping down behind him. He considered this a pre-fight bonus round before his battle against the alien menace began.

This one last day in his office, one last little meeting where he'd get to pick apart the brain of the little invader before he finally managed to drag Zim to an autopsy table and really see what made him tick.

Wow, he was shocked at that rather dark thought.

No matter. He still had a mission to do.

Yes. A mission. He knew he should have never given up on it, he knew that one day he'd get his chance to be proven right. He had never been crazy, not for a second. All those years wasted, when he could have been focusing on his real passion in life.

Hunting down and eliminating the alien menace. And Zim would be his first capture.

Dib had to wonder however if the little irken was going to show up today. He'd be honestly surprised if he did, after all, they were essentially enemies now. There was no way Zim would have forgotten their short, one sided fight and his escape from capture.

Still, inside there was another mature part of him. It seemed to have traded places with the child within him and was now acting as a new voice. It told him that violence was not the way, it'd never been the way, and that'd he'd made more of his life helping people than hurting small alien children.

It reminded him of the paranoia, the isolation, the mockery of others.

No, he could not fall for that. This was his duty, his mission, they'd all be proven wrong when he presented Zim's brain in a jar for all to see.

He grinned softly to himself. He couldn't wait to see the face on every doctor, on every classmate, on his father and Gaz when was declared saviour of earth and the first man ever to prove that alien's existed.

The door opened suddenly and Dib was rather rudely caught out of his daydreaming. His acceptance speech for paranomalist of the year vanishing before his eyes.

The small green alien paused at the door, his eyes locking hatefully on with the older man, who only looked back with a rather cool expression. What was Zim ever going to do to him? He was tiny, and yes, he was well armed but Dib was prepared and besides, this was a public place. Even Zim could figure not to unveil huge alien killing devices in front of the public.

The alien walked on into the room and sat on the chair situated in front of Dib's desk.

There was a long, cold silence. It was as if these two had become strangers all over again, meeting for the first time.

"So," Dib finally broke the silence and it seemed as if the alien stiffened at the words, "You're an alien."

"... I don't know what you're talking about." Zim replied slowly, looking away and folding his arms.

"Oh come off it Zim, I saw your house, your robots, even you without your silly disguise!" Dib was still amazed he'd fell for that damn thing.

The alien seemed to think on this before looking back to Dib and cooly replied, "It does not matter what you think. You can't tell anyone anyway."

This almost got a complete laugh out of Dib, but instead, he just grinned, "Oh? And what makes you think that."

"You swore on your pathetic human honour that whatever I said in this room would never leave this room," Zim pointed a finger at him and grinned, "And with no proof of what happened in my base, you are rendered helpless!"

The older man sat back. This had... not been expected. Sure, he had no proof of Zim's other worldly nature from his escape but for Zim to still expect him to hold to his word in this office... it was a little humbling and grounding.

All this time he had been set on the idea of capturing Zim, of making him a spectacle for all the world to see. Now that he had actually gone back to talk to the alien face to face he was reminded of how small and perhaps how foolish he was.

Back in the base he'd seem so big, terrifying and in control. Away from that enclosed space, out of that little world of his own creation, Zim's flaws came out in seconds.

Now Dib had a new struggle. To betray and expose Zim as the alien he was, or, to keep his word and play fair.

It seemed he'd been silent for too long. "Speak, human, ask your stupid questions so Zim can answer them and go," The irken seemed a little impatient.

"Oh, erm," The human blinked, "Sure... so tell me about your race."

The irken looked at him disbelievingly before chuckling, "Why would I do that?"

"Because I asked," Dib replied with a stern tone, "You have to answer me."

"I don't have to do anything, stupid human," Zim replied with a knowing smirk. "I can say what I want here, remember?"

Dammit, this is what he got for being knocked off course for a few minutes. He sighed and thought. He couldn't just keep tripping over himself like this, he was a genius _and_ a psychologist. He could think of something!

"But you have to say something," Dib linked his fingers together slowly, "Remember? I'll keep you here until you graduate if you don't."

"... fine," Zim huffed, "Well..." He smirked viciously, "Yesterday some annoying human broke into my base and discovered I was an amazing irken soldier."

"Really?" The therapist raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure this human wasn't invited in by your insane robots and given a tour of the house?"

"... GIR YOU STUPID THING!" He punched the air wildly as his rage momentarily overtook him. "I tell him NO, don't let anyone in! But all he does is make messes and disobey me!"

"But before you said you talk to him a lot," Dib commented calmly, "Doesn't that make him your only friend?"

"I... guess." Zim calmed down suddenly, as if his mind was thinking over his opinion on the little robot before he snapped. His eyes widened and he pointed at Dib, "HEY! Stop trying to make me talk!"

Dib only smirked in response. So he now knew, officially, that Zim was essentially alone on this planet. Good, at least he had no serious back up, Dib had been worried that Zim would be calling in his evil buddies to help him do... stuff.

"I can't help it, it's my job." He leaned back, putting his hands onto his lap. "So what else? Any death weapons I should know about?"

"Thousands," Zim replied threateningly, "All of them aimed at your big stupid head."

He growled just a little. That one hurt. However he decided to not let that get to him, instead he just decided to change the subject. "So these... Tallest of yours. They're not your parents? That must make them your leaders I suppose."

"My Tallest are great! And Tall!" Zim shouted, leaping onto his chair to point better at Dib. "Taller than you!"

"Really?" Dib suddenly became oh so painfully aware of just how tiny Zim was. Even standing on a chair, Zim barely reached Dib's neck.

A sudden strange thought came to him. Was Zim's urge to prove himself, his anger at the world, all stemmed from his height? Did he simply not feel, well, _tall_ enough to compete in the world? It was a strange idea, but this was someone who was not off the earth and besides, he'd heard of stranger things.

However, something else bugged him. If he was so small, why didn't he just make himself taller? He was an alien, he could just... build a grow-ray or something.

"So... they rule your people just because they're tall?" Zim snickered, "That's kinda dumb."

"Shut up human, the Almighty Tallest are the best of all of us and they trusted me, ME, the mighty Zim with the conquest of earth!" He smiled to himself and sat down, "Which will be soon, by the way."

Dib paused for a moment before leaning back, his look becoming serious. "You know I'm going to stop you, right?"

"HA!" Zim folded his arms, "You couldn't stop a fly from buzzing around your smelly head!"

"... right," Dib raised an eyebrow slowly. He decided that he would hold back for a while, observe Zim before trying to capture him. It was obvious to him that if Zim could have taken over the earth by now he would have done, he'd been here for a month after all, maybe more, after all Dib had only known Zim for a month, that wasn't to say he'd been here longer.

Besides, it seemed his more mature side had won this battle. His interest in the mind of Zim had been raised once more, plus it'd help to figure out how he thought if he was going to defeat him.

There was a loud bell and Zim grinned. He hopped off his seat and matched towards the door, "I'll be seeing you, human." He paused as he opened the door, looking back at Dib, "Don't try and get in my way."

Dib only raised a hand in a wave. "Not until next week, Zim."

* * *

_So yes! I hope you enjoyed and I hope it was enough to make up for the week long absence there. _

_No references here I don't think. Kinda sad really. _

_Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, remember, I love feedback so feel free to tell me where I EPIC FAIL and bits where I EPIC WIN. _

_Till next time true believers!_


	8. A Pleasent Visit

_It's time for an update! This chapter just kind of... happened. It was odd, but it was fun bringing in our little guest tonight, plus I think it's a nice way to show how harming Dib's obsessions can become. _

_Not much else to say on it really. Have fun reading guys!_

* * *

Dib sat in deck chair in his apartment, his video playing before him on the computer screen. Two hours of sitting and observing and almost nothing had come of it. He had tried once or twice to get closer to Zim's house, but now it seemed the gnomes outside had been programmed to attack him on sight.

He wished this had happened when he was younger and might sprightly, he might have had a better chance of getting inside Zim's base if he was.

Still, what he'd learned was useful. For one, it seemed Zim's base obviously went miles underground, meaning it was possible there was more than one way in. Two, Zim's house reacted to much around it, throwing stones at his window had only worked once before the gnomes began shooting them out the air.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, Gir didn't hate him. The robot had ran out of the house at one point and right over to Dib, who had almost been ready to run before the robot had offered him some coffee and some soap. The coffee had been welcome, the soap... not so much. That and of course, he had been forced to find a new hiding place.

He sighed. His eyes felt sore and tired and his body was cold. He couldn't keep doing this night after night, especially when his work was starting to pile up, even for him. He would have to set out planned dates.

But then what about Zim's world conquering attempts? So far he'd seen none of them, which he found... odd. Surely the irken would have done something by now to rule earth? As far as he could tell he'd been here for only three weeks before Dib had arrived at the school.

Was Zim biding his time? Or perhaps still gathering information?

He needed to find out more somehow and not just through observing. He needed to infiltrate and get some spy cameras in there or something.

He leaned back in his chair before clicking the video off. He should really get back to his real job, this obsession with the alien was starting to encroach into everything else in his life. A little warning voice someone told him that it was only going to get worse, but he ignored it.

Dib was sure he could balance the two for now.

Getting up and moving to the kitchen, Dib began boiling some water to make a coffee. Thoughts however still buzzed in his mind, after all he was a genius, it was very hard for him to shut down his musings.

He was thinking more and more on these 'Tallest' that Zim had so often talked about. What were they like? What kind of power did they have? They seemed almost religious figures from the way Zim talked about them. Maybe they were like the High Council of the Covernent. He chuckled at thoughts of little Zim-like irkens zooming about in big silly hats and floating chairs.

A sudden ring of the doorbell however broke him from these thoughts. Who the hell could be visiting him at this hour? Dib had friends, yes, but neither Jimmy or Dexter would be up at this hour... well maybe they would, but if they would, they'd be working on some new life changing thing or arguing with each other online.

He looked through the peep hole of his door, installed so that Zim could never randomly surprise him.

It was Gaz. She was tall, though not like her father or Dib and if Dib was to look upon her with objective eyes, very pretty... in that gothic kind of way. Her body was a thin pear shape with a small chest and wide hips. Her purple hair was long, flowing past her shoulders and still curling up in sharp spikes.

She wore a light black featureless top and black jeans with some boots. Around her shoulders was a long coat with deep pockets and on her ears, small skull earrings with a ankh necklace resting on her chest.

Dib began opening the door, undoing his five new locks. When the apartment door opened, Gaz stood with a raise of an eyebrow. "Why the new security?"

The older man shrugged. "Crime is rising, I don't want to be burgled any time soon."

".. right." Gaz pushed past him and walked into the flat as Dib shut the door, throwing her coat off and over the back of a couch before turning back to him.

"Is that a trench coat?" The woman suddenly asked, her eyes flicking past his head.

The man turned his head, glancing at the long black coat before looking back and folding his arms. "Yeah. And?"

"You haven't worn a trenchcoat since you were fifteen." Gaz's eyes narrowed slowly. "Why buy one now?"

"I needed a new coat, it was on sale." Dib covered himself with a chuckle. "What, you gonna question my trainers next? Or my ties?"

Gaz growled slightly before turning and walking to sit down on the couch.

Dib followed her, but he didn't sit down. Rather, he paused and leaned onto the couch, facing Gaz on the opposing couch. "So why the pleasant visit?"

She smirked. "Can't I just drop in?"

"Gaz the last time you dropped in your told me that I needed to come out the closet and marry that nice guy in texture mapping." He folded his arms as he stood across from her. "So what? Now you're here to tell me you found another lovely guy to pair me with? Sorry Gaz but I'm still into women."

His sister didn't change her expression, rather, she fixed him with a steely gaze. "You walked into Dad's labs and took out a bunch of spying equipment. Why?"

Dammnit. He hadn't considered this, not with his mad rush to find out as much about Zim as possible. That nagging voice was back, reminding him that this was just like what happened last time. He pushed it away.

"I told you, crime is going up, I want to keep an eye on everything." Good save.

"Really now." Gaz replied simply crossing one leg over the other, her voice utterly unbelieving.

The older man shrugged. "Hey, dad does the same."

"Dad is also a world-renown scientist." Gaz stated blankly. "He gets industrial spies trying to steal his ideas all the time. He has a damn good reason. You're a school councillor. You have nothing worth stealing."

"I have an extensive DVD collection!" The man replied with a cheeky smile, trying to distract her. "The Cinema Snob had his collection stolen you know."

Gaz huffed. "No changing the subject."

There was a silence between them where Dib could tell she was waiting for some kind of explanation. Dib frowned at Gaz. "What?

"Since when was the last time someone tried to burgle you?" She commanded suddenly. "You live on the sixth floor of a well off apartment! No one is getting in here."

"Well what about going to work?" Dib counted suddenly.

"You drive to work." Gaz replied simply, her eyes now boring into him.

In the kitchen, the kettle boiled and clicked loudly, a deep rumbling of water could be heard within it. "Look, Gaz, just get off my back. I'm allowed to keep myself safe." Dib snapped before storming off into his kitchen.

"You're acting weird, Dib. Weirder than usual," She shouted, standing up and watching him from the living room.

The older man snorted as he poured himself a coffee. "Like you care."

"I do care, dammit." Gaz growled out, making her way slowly to the kitchen. "I care that you're acting-"

"Paranoid? Crazy? Go ahead Gaz, not like they're not true, right?" Dib snapped suddenly, slamming his hands onto the kitchen top and narrowing his eyes at her.

"WEIRD," She shouted over him, clenching a fist, "You're acting weird. Locks on your doors, raiding dad's labs, wearing coats you haven't worn in years!" She seemed to pause for just a moment, her usual stony expression softening for a second. "What's going on?"

"... nothing." Dib would never tell her anything, ever. She'd go crying to dad and then it'd be back to the crazy house for him. No, not this time, not when he had living proof that aliens were real. "Look these last few days I felt a bit insecure here. My job is kinda stressful and I want some security when I get home, okay?"

Gaz seemed to pause again. She wasn't a genius, not like Dib or her father were geniuses, but she was smart in another way. She could read people like books and once more as an head of designer for a major games company she was creative. Gaz didn't need much to piece together the truth from the lies.

"... Fine." She turned and began storming out, grabbing her coat on the way. "Bye." She slammed the door as she left, the locks rattling.

Dib sighed. It was alright, when he exposed Zim for the alien he was, it'd all pay off... he'd just have to get used to his sister being mad at him in the meantime. Heh, just like old times.

* * *

_So yes! Gaz returned here to show how quickly Dib's obsessive behaviour can effect people! It's already starting to work it's evil magic on his family, making Gaz go all mad again wut. I loved writing Gaz and talking about Dib's family here, it was actually fun for once._

_References time! - 'High Council of the Covernent' A Halo reference. I don't like Halo much, hence the funny hat comment, but the reference was too tempting not to make._  
_'Jimmy or Dexter' - I always love to include Dib in the 'cartoon boy genius' roster of Jimmy Neutron, Dexter and Mandark._  
_The Cinema Snob - A hilarious and awesome reviewer of movies, check out his website if you can! And yes, Cinema really did have his DVD collection stolen._

_Well that's everything for now, a nice chapter I think. Tell me what you thought and give me your feedback! Hope you liked, later kiddos!_


	9. One Rainy Day

_IT'S UPDATE TIME! And AMAZING, chapter 8 and with 100 reviews already? Damn, you guys rock hard and fast yo. So, the first person to review this is the 101st reviewer for this story, and thus you win... NOTHING, just a sense of pride I guess. _

_Anyway, enough warbling. This chapter has been in my head for a while... but I dunno if it came out like it should have done. Either way, hope you enjoy reading!_

* * *

Dib's studies on Zim had not turned up much. He had learned a little of his biology, his inability to eat human food for example and his odd desire to keep everything clean. It seemed the irken was something of a germaphobe, which while helpful to know, didn't aid Dib much in trying to capture him.

He had been trying to focus on the immediate danger of the irken doing something terrible to the world. Already he'd tracked several unusual occurrences since his estimated time of the irken's arrival. There was a discovery about polluted cows churning out mud instead of milk and there was a rise in cyborg-rats biting people's feet from open sewer holes.

Dib however didn't think these were honest-to-god conquering attempts though. It was more like very hi-tech vandalism. Hell, it reminded him of when he and his nerdish friends built a small 'earthquake generator' in university and used it to shatter every window in their rival dormitory.

So was Zim just testing the waters of humanities strength? Or where these small acts of violence cries for help?

Dib rubbed his eyes and looked to the last piece of work for the day. He read the whole thing in less than ten seconds and signed it. He'd had to stay behind for a while, catching up on all the work he'd been neglecting lately in favour of studying the alien.

Now however it'd piled up too much for comfort and after putting off everything, he'd finally finished the damn thing.

Now he looked up and groaned. Outside it was poring with rain, the heaviest it'd been for a month. Great, well this put him off spying on Zim's house tonight, there was no way he was sitting in the rain all night and waking up with a cold the next morning.

That was the last thing he needed, especially now he knew Gaz was watching him. Not that he'd seen her of course but with Gaz you never could, she had her many ways of watching him. He never knew whether it was out of some kind of twisted concern of it if was just so she could kick his ass when he screwed up.

He'd never been able to figure that one out.

The man groaned in exasperation and got up, gathering his things and throwing his trenchcoat around him. While one or two of his fellow co-workers had joked on his new 'goth look', even though the English teacher Timothy wore a pink hat of all things, the coat was very warm and quite comfortable.

The only downside was that some students had called him Professor Snape a few times.

He plugged in his earphones as he went through the empty halls, existing out into the rain and jogging over to his car, trying not to get utterly drenched. He threw his stuff into the side seat of his car and was stepping in as he saw, just on an a glance, a tiny red and green figure huddled by the entrance to the school.

Zim? What was he doing? Who was he waiting for?

Dib blinked and looked to his car, the urge to just drive off and leave him there was a strong one indeed. Yet the opportunity to confront him again and perhaps learn something valuable was far more tempting.

He drew his coat over his head, shut the door to his car, and jogged over to the entrance, the small irken looking up and taking on a surprised expression as he did so.

"Dib-beast?" He soon switched to a growl. "What are you doing?"

"Why haven't you gone home?" Dib asked suddenly, trying to squint through the blobs of rain on his glasses.

"None of your business, human," Zim snapped back. "Leave Zim alone."

Dib frowned at him. "What? You can't get your space ship to come and get you?"

"... Gir broke it." Zim mumbled. The older man had to grin at this and stifle a laugh, which the irken easily noticed. "Shut up, stinking human!"

"I didn't say anything!" The counsellor replied with an undeniable grin.

"Oh, well, erm, shut up now!" The irken pointed a finger to him and stood up. "Go back to your smelly mud hut or wherever you live!"

Dib sighed before looking around. "Why are you hiding from the rain?"

"I am not hiding... I'm out-lasting." Zim looked fearfully to the downpour before darting his eyes back to Dib.

The man paused for a moment as his mind tried to link fear and the rain. Unless Zim also had a water fear, than this just didn't make any sense. Then his logic reminded him that Zim was an _alien_ and he shouldn't be applying human sense to him. Perhaps the rain was harmful to him? Well, a quick test should solve this one.

He flicked his wet fingers in Zim's direction, the small droplets landing on the irken's face. There was a pause, then suddenly small wisps of smoke arose as the droplets burnt like acid. Zim yelped and wiped his face on his sleeve quickly before growling at the older man.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" He yelped quickly.

"Sorry, I was... testing something." Dib replied with a shrug. He felt kinda bad about hurting Zim, but the test was conclusive at least. "So you can't go out in the rain..." He looked out onto the downpour before looking back to him. "... come on, I'll give you a lift home."

He really didn't know why he was doing this, but the alien seemed so pathetic at times that Dib really couldn't imagine him being a threat. Yet that image of the powerful, terrifying invader deep in the bowls of his underground lab had yet to leave his mind.

"I do not need to be lifted home," The irken replied with a growl. "I am fine waiting."

Did raised an eyebrow. "You really want to be waiting here all night?"

The irken seemed to consider this. He looked to the rain, shuddered, and looked back to the counsellor. "... fine, human. But no funny business."

Dib put three fingers up. "Scouts promise."

Zim gave him a look of puzzlement before walking towards him. Dib held his coat out over the boy's head The irken seemed to shrink under the cover of the coat, holding himself as tight as possible to avoid any rain. He practically leapt from under the coat and into Dib's car, checking himself over for any possibly droplets before sitting and looking smugly victorious.

The man entered the car and was soon exiting the parking lot. The irken sat quietly, his eyes following streams of rain on the windowpane.

"... so..." Dib hated silence and whenever he was met by it, he wished to break it instantly. "... any world conquering plans you have cooking up?"

"Why would I ever tell you?" Zim replied with narrowed eyes.

"I'm just wondering." Dib replied with a shrug. "I mean, I suspect the whole randomisation of the traffic lights in downtown was your doing."

"HA!" Zim grinned suddenly at his enemy. "Yes! I brought down your entire city just by changing the pattern on your silly vehicle-commander lights!"

"I have to say it was more... irritating than world shattering." The counsellor replied with an unimpressed tone.

"Yessss," The irken grinned evilly, "Feel the wrath of the mighty Zim!"

"... right." Dib frowned for a moment and allowed his eyes to flick to Zim before looking back to the road. "Why haven't you conquered the earth yet?"

The irken seemed to pause, as if the question had surprised him before looking away. "I'm taking information right now. I will take over the earth eventually, mark my words."

"Yeah, about that, you've been here for months, Zim." Dib looked to the irken as they stopped at some lights, the rain scattering across the front window. "Other than annoying people, have you actually done anything? I mean, have you taken out any military bases? Destroyed any buildings?"

"... that is not important." Zim commented quickly and crossed his arms. "It would draw too much attention."

"But your whole job is to blow stuff up!" Dib replied again. "I mean come on, you should have at least invented some death ray by now or-"

"SHUT UP!" The irken suddenly shouted, making Dib jump. "Shut up! I'm doing FINE! I'm studying and observing and doing just what my Tallest WANT me to do! And one day the Armada will get here and everything will be blown up! Until then the mighty ZIM will continue hurting the human race as he sees fit! SO STOP ASKING!"

... okay that wasn't what he expected, although he knew he had been pushing Zim with his questions that sudden outburst was still surprising. Again he knew he'd hit a nerve, but what nerve was it? Was Zim embarrassed about the manner he was going about conquering earth? Was he doubtful he could do it?

Zim's house rolled into view and Dib stopped the car in front of it.

Zim didn't even say goodbye, he simply threw open the door and ran out into his house, his skin burning as he did so but Dib could not see his face. He closed the door, turned his car around and began heading home, wishing he hadn't pushed the irken so much. Every time he did so, Zim closed up and ran away... if he was a normal human child, Dib could maybe talk to the parents and get some information from them, but with Zim there was no easy option. He didn't have parents... but he did have leaders.

Dib's eyes widened in the car as a new plan hit him. Don't talk directly to Zim, talk to the Tallest!

* * *

_So yes, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I thought it was... meh, not as well written as I'd hoped. Maybe because I had a few distractions from it this week. Also, soonage we're gonna be seeing some awesome Dib-Tallest talking action! Hoora!_

_References - 'earthquake machine'. This was a reference to Nikola Tesla, my favourite scientist. Yes, he really did invent a machine that caused earthquakes, and tested it in the middle of Manhattan. Great man._

_'Timothy with the pink hat' - Good old Timmy Turner from Fairy Odd Parents._

_'Professor Snape' - I doubt I've got to explain this one. The image of a Snape-Dib is a pretty awesome one though, someone should totally draw that._

_Anyways, you know the score, read and review and kick ass and do all those awesome things! Feedback is always encouraged and welcomed! Till next time kids!_


	10. The Truth Revealed

_FINALLY AN UPDATE. Yes, again, holidays and whatnot suck for keeping me in writing shape... or any shape. Still, soon I'll be having exams and then a looong flight to visit my beautiful girlfriend and whanot. _

_I won't tell you who she is on this site, but I assure you, she's an awesome writer. _

_ANYWAY, this is a big plot event chapter, so enjoy reading dawgs!_

* * *

This was a very delicate operation. Firstly, he was lying to his boss about where he was. Secondly he had to wonder just what kind of security Zim had surrounding his base. Would he even be able to break into it? Sure last time he'd practically walked into the place, but last time he wasn't Zim's sworn enemy... Even if he was hardly a good enemy.

What kind of enemy still tried to figure out how to help them get over their problems?

No, he was doing this so he had something to use against Zim later. The way to defeat your enemy was to hey inside their heads and ruin them before they even took a swing at you. Or you could always take the Gaz way and just beat them with a baseball bat.

Dib however was taking the mind rout and slowly made his way up the driveway of Zim's home. He knew the boy had been in school today, that he had to make sure off. However, halfway through the day he'd pretended he had a serious headache and had made the excuse to go home and get some rest.

Part of him had toyed with the idea of setting up a robot-Dib to take his place, but then he remembered Zim's robo-parents and suddenly robots didn't seem so cool anymore.

This was to be an important victory for him today. This was the day he would finally get to talk to the leaders of the irken species. He would be the first human ever to speak to the leaders of the irken race.

In a way he felt excited, but he knew he couldn't let his excitement get in the way of his mission. He had to learn as much about Zim as possible from these guys and use it to bring Zim to his knees.

The door suddenly opened in front of him and there stood Gir in his little doggy outfit. Dib immediately went hide, but the dog blinked at him. "Dib? Mastah's at school, go be friends with him there!"

"... what?" Dib was frozen, he didn't know if the robot was toying with him or not. "I mean, I know that, Gir, but I wanted to... talk to your leaders. About Zim."

"Ooooooh, I dunno 'bout daat." Gir shook his head as he began walking back into the house.

Dib followed him gingerly, not wanting to suddenly be attacked by the insane robot, but at the same time, knowing this could be his one and only chance of getting to talk to the irken leaders. What had Zim called them? His Tallest?

"Day dun like being called." Gir stated as he went over to the TV and turned it on. Dib suddenly realised that the small robot was actually helping him... huh, he guessed sometimes it was good Zim's equipment was so badly designed.

Zim could fly across space, but he couldn't even get his own robots to work for him.

"Can I call them anyway?" Dib asked simply as he sat onto the couch, still on edge, even as the robot began tapping in some numbers on a small keypad beside the TV.

"Amma do it for yooou!" Gir replied with a smile as the TV began picking up a signal. "I like talkin to ma Tallest!"

Before Dib could ask any more the screen suddenly flickered into life and before him, on the main screen, were to long, thin faces. One had red eyes, somewhat similar to Zim's but deeper, more serious somehow. The other was a violet-purple that seemed more vibrant and energetic.

Both however seemed to share a sort of authority that even Dib had to admit was intimidating. In his mind, Dib referred to them as Red and Purple, having no other idea what else to call them. He was not going to call them 'my Tallest' as Zim did, no way was he giving some alien conqueror their proper title.

"Who are you?" Red suddenly asked, his cold eyes narrowing.

"Unless you're Zim in some dumb disguise," Purple added, "In which case we're not impressed."

"No, I'm... erm..." How did one introduce themselves to the leaders of an intergalactic alien race? "I'm Dib."

"... Dib? What's a Dib?" The red eyed irken asked his fellow ruler.

"I'm a Dib! I mean, I'm Dib! Dib Membrane!" The human replied quickly, clenching his hands in annoyance.

"OH! I know who _you_ are!" Purple suddenly replied, grinning and pointing at the human, who blinked in shock. "You're the big headed one who keeps following Zim around!"

Dib was shocked. One, he'd been called 'big headed' by another alien and two, they knew who he was! Zim must have told them, it was the only thing he could think of. "... so you know that I know Zim is an alien?"

"Of course." The red one grinned. "With that disguise, I was surprised no one figured it out earlier, your species must be really dumb!"

Dib felt kind of burned by that, after all, for a long time he'd been fooled by the simple wig and contacts too. But he considered it part of the Clark Kent effect, a single pair of glasses can change your whole perception on a person and that was true for Zim.

In disguise, Zim was different. He was more... show offy, more up front and aggressive. Out of disguise his genius began to flash through, his viciousness. He became more... alien without his wig.

"Yeah, well, I need to ask you about Zim. What was his family life like, how was he raised." Dib asked quickly, taking out a pen and paper. What? This was all important note-taking information!

The red Tallest seemed to scratch his head and frown. "Wha-family? Irken's are raised in communal education pits."

His friend nudged him, "They must still use natural birthing methods on Earth."

"Ew," Red stuck out a tongue, "Disgusting."

"... wait, so Zim has no family?" This confused him but that was alright, Zim still had clearly attached the roles of parental figures onto the two leaders. "Well, how is he treated back on Irk?"

"HA!" Red suddenly laughed loudly. "That's a good one!"

"We don't want him here," Purple commented with the wave of a hand, "It's that simple. Why do you think we sent him all the way to your backwards planet?"

"Hey, we didn't even know Earth was THERE until he collided with it." Red snickered. "A fake mission, a thrown away robot and some pride, that's all he's got."

"Don't go telling him though," Purple warned suddenly, "Seriously. If he comes to us asking why his mission is fake, we really WILL show up and invade your planet."

"Yeah! Last time he was here he almost destroyed the entire operation!" Red growled out, "He's the worst our species has to offer and we've told him so about a thousand times already but he won't listen."

"He's actually on exile, he's not even a real invader you know." Purple chuckled softly. "He's just a stupid, insane, tiny little drone who thinks he's more than he is."

"I almost feel bad for you." Red commented slowly. "You know, having to put up with him on your planet... but better you than us, right?"

"... so... everyone hates him and he knows it?" Dib asked slowly, lowering his pad to his lap.

"Pretty much." Red added with a smile. "He's the most useless member of our entire race."

"Even Table-Headed-Drone Bob is more useful than Zim." Purple grinned and laughed.

"Yeah! Even Invader Skoodge is more helpful!" Red commented quickly, again, laughing loudly.

"Even the redshirts are more helpful!" Purple added, laughing almost uncontrollably.

"Even the Gungans are more helpful!" Red managed to breath out, the two now absolutely lost in their stupid 'who is more helpful than Zim' game.

Dib turned the TV off, no longer wishing to talk to either of them. He felt... crushed inside. He thought that this would help illuminate Zim's background, that he'd be able to find out at least some part of why Zim acted like he did... but he'd found out more than he thought. Zim wasn't just looking to gain approval from his leaders, he was looking to gain approval from _everyone_.

This changed everything. He couldn't chase and expose Zim in good conscious now, not with this revelation. Everything in Zim's life was a giant lie, everything was built and designed to remind him what a complete loser he was. No, more than that, a _failure_.

His only option was constant, aggressive denial. That scene came to mind, the day Zim stormed out of his office. Everything was clicking together bit by bit.

Dib stood up and began walking out, ignoring Gir's screaming about cupcakes or something. He knew he had work to do, he had to go back to school and drag Zim back into his office.

He had to get him to admit to his denial... and that was going to be very, very difficult.

* * *

_WOO, so there we have it, Dib has finally found out Zim is a total loser and his mission is a big lie. Now comes the next part, making Zim confess it too! Clearly Dib's work is cut out for him. _

_References! _

_Redshirts - Trekkies will know this one. Redshirts are the guys who essentially get killed every episode, proving their intense uselessness. _

_Gungans - Need I say more? MOST USELESS PEOPLE EVER TO EXIST. Apart from the Ewoks. _

_Anyways, hope you all enjoyed the update and this chapter and I hope you're now FIRED UP to read the next one! Leave some feedback, tell me what you hated and loved and all that goodness. Laters peeps!_


	11. Heavily Malleting

_SO FINALLY. I update with this epic chapter of epicness. However, as I said before, I've been spending lots of time abroad, travelling and learning more about the world. For example, the other day I saw bear in the wild. HOW AWESOME IS THAT._

_Also I had major block for this, however, I am now back on track... hopefully. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update!_

* * *

The drive back to the skool was a blur. Dib couldn't think, not with this... massive revelation. This changed everything he knew about Zim, everything. He couldn't even justify himself as the defender of earth anymore, earth wasn't even under threat. Zim was just here to get rid of him, like he could be tossed to one side and forgotten about.

He didn't claim to understand a foreign culture like the irkens, but by any standards he knew what kind of damage that could do to someone. Zim was so far in denial about, well, everything that he'd become this person obsessed with victory. His talent and intelligence was cast so far into self doubt that he caused his own destruction on a constant basis in order to justify his ruler's judgement on himself.

His violence towards others, his lofty over-ambitious dreams, his constant, unyielding diligence to every word his leaders gave him.

And it was all for nothing. He'd never get the attention he wanted, he'd never be seen as the best, he'd never even be thanked for his work. He was alone, surrounded by robots who couldn't understand his thoughts and left on a planet filled with people who would only turn on him if he ever revealed himself.

Dib's frown deepened. Well, not anymore.

As he pulled back into the school parking lot, he practically leapt out of his car to go marching quickly to the reception. His mind was set, his new mission was clear. Help Zim get his life back.

By the time he got to his office, his genius intellect was already going into overdrive. He knew exercises he could run through to get Zim's confidence back, things he could do to help separate the complete authority of the Tallest from Zim's life.

But he knew that this was no easy task, Zim was clearly far older than he seemed and this was a very deeply ingrained mental block. Not to mention that either way, Zim was clearly a trained soldier. Dib had no idea what military practices they'd done to him to make sure he never revealed information to the enemy, which he most certainly was.

He paused suddenly, looking to the two and a half pages of ideas he had already noted down. How was he even going to get Zim to agree to half of this, heck, how was he going to even get Zim to talk to him properly again?

He sighed and leaned forward onto the table, linking his fingers together and resting his chin onto them. Dammit Zim, why did you have to be an alien with mental problems? Why couldn't you just be another girl who think she's fat when clearly not?

Well, he supposed that'd take the challenge out of it.

He decided to speak to Zim once again, or at least try too, it couldn't hurt after all. The last time he had tried to talk to him the irken had blown up in his face over his lack of conquering the earth... he supposed that this next meeting wouldn't go any better. He was starting to wonder if the 'genitally chip' method wouldn't be better replaced with 'heavily mallet'.

He buzzed his secretary quickly and asked to send a word to summon Zim to his office before he leaned back and began trying to mentally prep himself. This was going to become tough and fast.

Moments later, the door smashed open and there stood a very annoyed looking Zim. His purple eyes narrowed in anger as he stormed into the tiny office. "What is the meaning of this, Dib-stink? Why do you call Zim from his learnings?"

"Learnings?" Dib had to repeat the word just to make sure that Zim had said it before shaking his head. "Shut the door and take a seat, we have... a lot to talk about."

"We have nothing to talk about." The irken replied as he casually did as he was told. "You're a dirt-monkey and I'm the superior lifeform."

"I... well, how are you feeling today." The counsellor asked simply. He couldn't just leap right into it, 'oh by the way I know you're an exile'. Yeah, that wouldn't go down too well and he'd probably just damage the relationship he'd build up already.

No, this had to be broken... slowly, carefully. He would still have to wear Zim down slowly before letting him know.

"... today I am feeling cautious." Zim responded with narrowed eyes. "Because you never call me into your lair on this day."

"Yes, well, I believe we have some serious matters to discuss." Dib replied with an air of professionalism. He was trying to hide his guilt however, crushing the small alien's dream was something that he didn't find completely pleasant.

"Like the Poop Dog Spectre of Defeat?" The alien suddenly commented out of no where, immediately catching Dib's attention.

The counsellor paused for a second, considering if he should continue his original line of questioning or if he should press on this new issue. His guilt won out and he decided to ask about the 'Spectre of Defeat'. "What? Poop Dog?"

Zim suddenly seemed paranoid and he looked from side to side. "Yes! We were given a mission in class today, to go out and document every animal we could find on the skool grounds." His fist clenched. "However, I knew I had to document the MOST animals to win the prize! But when searching, I fell out of one of your pitiful earth-trees." He growled loudly at this memory before continuing. "And then the Poop Dog Spectre of Defeat approached me and told me I'd never win the prize!" His rage seemed to be building almost uncontrollably at this point. "He told me I was pathetic and not worthy of the prize! BUT I SHOWED HIM!"

Dib sat and nodded at the whole thing, listening intently. The boy had clearly been hallucinating, however, after falling out of a tree one could only assume he would.

"I documented EVERY ANIMAL ALIVE!" Zim cried out in victory and held his hands up in joy.

Dib blinked slowly. "... okay. Well, that was very useful of you Zim." Every animal? No way, he couldn't have done... could he?

"Yes! But the prize, OOOH the prize." His hands clenched back into tight fists and his voice lowered. "It was nothing but a can of TUNA."

... Wow. Dib knew the skool budget was low but not that low. Than again, he knew that Zim's teacher was Mrs Bitters who seemed to be some kind of immortal being of darkness who existed only to torment children. It was no surprise really to think that she would give the children some useless task and reward them with something even more useless.

However, he also realised that to someone as competitive and as driven to detail as Zim, this could be rather... infuriating. Hell, he'd be infuriated if he'd got a can of tuna after documenting everything on earth.

"I'm sorry about that, Zim." Dib replied with a simple shrug. "Did you talk to Ms Bitters about it?"

"Why would anyone talk to that old hag about anything?" Zim quickly sniped back before sitting down again. "I hate her. I hate everyone. I hate this insane, stupid planet."

The older man almost laughed at the sudden burst of teen angst from Zim. Seeing the 'I hate everyone' comment come from such a small guy and not only that, a small alien invader was almost priceless.

However, Dib kept his composure and instead, only smiled. "Come on Zim, there's got to be something about this planet you like." Especially if he was going to stay here forever.

"No. I hate everything about this place." The irken sat down heavily and crossed his arms once more.

"Not one thing?" He pushed, wanting to have SOMETHING that Zim could hold onto once he delivered the rather crushing news of his exile. "What about the food?"

"NOTHING." Zim spat as his eyes flicked back to the human. "What part of 'I hate everything' do you NOT understand, stink worm?"

Dib sighed and leaned back. Delivering the news was going to be far harder than he originally thought. How was he supposed to console Zim without some kind of positive to keep his mind on track? Without something to guide him on to, Zim would fall into a depression... or worse, a rage. The counsellor knew it wasn't wise to anger someone who could also blow half the planet away with the touch of a button.

"Well Zim, I think I should set you some homework." He was playing a risky game here, but he had high hopes it'd pay off. "I want you to find something about earth that you like."

"... that I like?" Zim raised an eyebrow... or looked like he was trying to anyway. Dib could only imagine those strange, ant-like antennae of his rising instead.

"Yes, by Thursday I want something that you actually like and if you find something you like, I'll give you a reward. A good one! Not a can of tuna, I promise." He realised now that he was failing to tell Zim the truth, and therefore, he was kind of lying to him. However, in his mind he justified it by reminding himself that this was to help Zim when the shock came.

As Zim left the room with a very thoughtful look on his green face, Dib only hoped that whatever he liked wasn't too dangerous.

* * *

_There's probably a ton of errors in this chapter, I just wanted to get it out and stop it from being in development hell. I got the inspiration about the 'poop dog' bit by just watching the show, which is an amazing help. _

_No references in this I'm afraid D: Ahh well. _

_Happy 4th of July everyone! Hope you enjoyed reading, tell me what you think! Laters!_


	12. A Surprise Visit

_BAAAH, I am sorry! I know I promised more regular updates and I am working to do that, but this first week of Uni was... very hectic to say the least, my times didn't turn out quite as planned so I might have less writing time than I thought. However, I will try and get back to writing a chapter every two weeks now. PROMISE. _

_Anyway this is a fun chapter to me, it's definitely making the beginning of the end for this fic... but the conclusion should be fun. I have some stuff in mind so you guys won't be disappointed. _

_Anyways, read, have fun, ENJOY!_

* * *

Dib was almost looking forward to this talk. It would be interesting to see what an alien decided was good about this world, plus from here he could hopefully begin pushing his irken friend towards being more positive about being on earth. After all, if Dib could overcome his irrational paranoia than surely Zim could learn to like this planet?

Right? Right?

A deep sigh came from the young man, this was going to be one long, uphill battle.

Well, either way he sat in his home, preparing several papers on what Zim might say for the tomorrow's meeting. It was late at night, almost midnight actually. However Dib was way too used to working late, insomnia would do that to a person, even though he fully planned to get a good night's sleep... eventually.

It was raining outside, the night sky was dark and overcast. There was no thunder or anger in the storm, it was simply a storm, drenching the world and cleaning the litter away from the streets. The sound of it hitting the windows of his flat was almost peaceful, pretty, it provided a wonderful backdrop for Dib's mind to work on the Zim question.

What would the alien like the most? Their weapons? A certain food? It was more than making Zim like the earth, it was an amazing opportunity to learn what a visitor from another world, albeit a hostile one, liked most about this tiny planet.

Dib looked out the window slowly, blinking into the night sky. Winter was coming, and that wasn't just the Ned Stark in him. The city was experiencing a terrible, drizzly moment between the humidity of summer and the freezing of winter.

And what a strange summer it had been. He had learned that there was life beyond this earth, and yet, it was in the form of a troubled tiny green alien who didn't seem to know what he wanted in life.

He honestly couldn't have seen that one coming.

But it had set a fire in him he had long forgotten. Suddenly he was looking at the world with new, excited eyes. He wanted to go out and discover all the mysteries of life he had forgotten about. He wanted to hunt down bigfoot and dig up mummies and do all the things he had been told not too.

That was, of course, after he cracked the nut was that Zim's mind. Heck, maybe he'd even take the alien with him, although he wasn't sure if he could handle Zim for that long. One hour a week was already enough.

He smiled to himself before looking back to the soft glow of his computer screen. He wondered if he would still have acted the same to Zim if he had arrived while Dib was at school. Probably not, back then he was a vicious little thing. He probably would have chased him about and handed him over to some horrible paranormal society who would have cut him into pieces.

It was probably for the best that Zim had arrived when Dib wasn't a tiny psychopath bent on destroying every alien he came across. Weirdly, he realised he could possibly describe Zim in exactly the same manner.

He was pretty sure they'd have hated each other either way.

Dib suddenly heard a rumble through his stomach, that sudden feeling of emptiness and an ache for food filling him. He was a thin guy, and he tended to eat on irregular occasions, small meals throughout the day topped usually by fast food. Right now his belly was demanding noodles, possibly of the chicken flavoured with soy sauce kind. Eh, he could finish this work tomorrow, it was only a couple of Parent-Teacher Council issues after all. Yes, it was up to him to solve all the internal petty politics of the Parent-Teacher Council, even when that crazy teacher Mr Scudworth tried to become it's King.

He wandered into his kitchen, scratching his butt and yawning as he did so. Yet he felt a sudden chill run through him, as if he was being watched.

In the next second he turned around and was greeted by the amber eyes of his sister. He jumped in shock, putting his arms up in a minor form of self defence. He would have asked why she was there, but this _was_ Gaz and she did have a tendency to do things like that.

"You missed it." Gaz growled out slowly. "Why?"

"Missed what?" Dib stammered as he took a step back. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Gaz this angry.

"Dad's birthday." Gaz announced, another step towards Dib. "You forgot it. It was yesterday."

OH. CRAP. Dib couldn't believe he'd forgotten his fathers birthday. He immediately began panicking. He knew how attached to their family Gaz was, even if together they weren't much of a family.

But still, he honestly was amazed he'd forgotten his father's birthday. "I'm sorry Gaz! I was totally swamped with work-"

"Shut it." Gaz demanded as she slowly began approaching Dib. "You've been acting weird, not keeping in contact and now you forget Dad's birthday? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! I was just overworked." Dib quickly lied. He knew exactly what had distracted him. It had been Zim, he was so obsessed with cracking the puzzle of the alien that all other work was falling behind.

Including keeping in basic contact with his family. He suddenly realised how this looked. The obsessive behaviour, the paranoid-like lack of contact. She thought he was slipping again.

He should have been smart enough to avoid looking this bad. He knew he wasn't crazy, that Zim most certainly existed. The alien had a house, he went to class, he had a robot dog. Zim was not a hallucination.

"I swear," He continued as he now fully backed up into his kitchen. "I just forgot!"

"You're a genius, Dib." Gaz spoke slowly, quietly, dangerously. "You don't 'just forget' anything."

She advanced on him slowly, fists curling and a terrible fire burning in her eyes. And yet Dib knew, just knew, that inside this was not born of anger but of fear. She feared their family falling apart again like it once did. "Where have you been?"

"Busy, that's all I can tell you." Dib replied as he finally backed up against his fridge. "I made a promise not to tell, it's work related, I can't break the student-counsellor confidentiality."

The petite woman seemed to pause at this before slowly growling out. "You forgot dad's birthday because of some stupid bratty child?"

"Zim is not a brat!" Dib quickly countered, a bit faster than he'd liked. "He's important, Gaz, this kid is different."

"Different enough to make you forget your own dad's birthday!" Gaz shouted at him before turning and storming across the room, perhaps needing some space to breathe. When she got to the other side she spun back to look at him. "You're acting weird again, Dib. Really weird."

"I swear, Gaz, this has nothing to do with aliens." The counsellor replied with his hands up. "I'll get him something, I'll make it up, I promise."

The young woman only paused. "I never mentioned aliens."

Oh. Oh dear. Okay well he could counter that. "Well, yeah, just saying... you know... it's nothing to do with them."

A new air came over Gaz. Like she suddenly seemed nervous to even be around Dib. She seemed unsure of herself, then a second later, a cold look entered her eyes. "You're not too good at hiding things Dib."

Dib knew he could lose this. He had to out-think her, come on, he was a genius! He could surely out-think his younger sister. "I'm not hiding anything!" His voice was calm, but still laced with a sense of the frantic thought process inside. "Seriously, I just... Gaz I'm not crazy. I just got swamped with work for this kid."

He moved to sit back onto the worktop, his eyes still on Gaz. "He's not like other kids. He's a genius but he's got tons of family issues. I gotta help him out."

Gaz seemed to again, pause, thought flashing through her eyes as Dib internally prayed that she bought his excuse. He was filtering the truth, which perhaps made his voice that more believable.

"Fine. Visit him sometime this week, bring something good and don't put work before family again." Gaz turned so he couldn't see her eyes and she strode towards the door, pausing only a second before she walked out, her voice taking on an odd sinister tone. "Be seeing you."

Dib didn't even get to say goodbye before she slammed the door.

* * *

_OOOOH, very mysterious ending, ammarite kids? Anyway this chapter is a huuuuge cop-out and a teaser to you guys wondering what Zim liked. BUT HA, now you gotta wait EVEN MORE. BWAHAHA. I'm so mean._

_References!_  
_'Winter is Coming/Ned Stark' - from the awesomeness of Game of Thrones. Man I love that TV series._  
_'Mr Scudworth' - from the awesomeness that is Clone High. WATCH THAT CARTOON, it's all on youtube yo. _

_Anyways that's all for now. Gimmie some feedback, call me lazy or whatever. I just hope you enjoyed reading! Till next time true believers!_


	13. Zim's Favourite Earth Thing

_WOO, Wednesday update for ya'll! Nice time halfway through the week, but hey, it's a sign of regular updating isn't it? Anyway, this chapter was kind of fun for me, it was good to have the two of them back in the little counselling room talking again. It felt like I haven't done that with Dib and Zim in a while. Also, it was fun coming up with the thing Zim liked, which was a nice twist on the whole idea. _

_Anyways, enough babbling, READ ON YO, AND ENJOY._

* * *

Dib sat idly twirling his thumbs at his desk. He then checked his watch. Paused. Twirled his thumbs. Then checked his watch again. Why wasn't it time for Zim to get here already? This had been bugging him all week, he wanted to know what the alien liked about Earth!

Besides, this could be a huge step on the road to getting Zim to like being here, to accept his place on this little planet that he called home.

It could lead to Zim leading a new life, going into scientific studies doing something to help mankind instead of just destroy it. That would really make Dib proud, to know that he had turned a would-be conqueror into someone who pushed for humanity's continuing reach for the stars.

He knew he was getting a little obsessed with this but this was something amazing after all, this was an alien! This wasn't like those kids who thought they were terrible people because they got something wrong or girls freaking out because they couldn't afford the new MYphone or something.

There was a sudden loud and horrible buzz from his phone and his sectary announced that Zim was here to see him. Dib hated it when it did that, it was so loud and almost acted like an electric shock.

However, he recovered and nodded. "Send him in."

Right on time, to the second, probably to the millisecond, the young green alien opened the door and walked into the room. He looked bored, which was not uncommon for him. He also didn't seem to hold the same interest in this revelation of what he liked that Dib did.

Dib almost felt a little disappointed however, he reminded himself that while he considered these meetings to be exciting and challenging and new, for Zim they were an annoyance and something of a waste of his time.

Still, he was the counsellor here, he would make Zim do this for his own good.

"Hi Zim, how are you feeling?" Dib opened with a hopeful tone.

"Bah." The little alien replied, sitting down onto the chair in front of Dib and looking to one side. He wasn't angry, just... uninterested.

"I see." The counsellor nodded before leaning back in his chair. "Long week I suppose?"

"I am designing a doom ray to bring doom to this stupid smelly city." Zim announced simply, arms folded in a rather bored fashion. "But I cannot find any doom crystals on this planet to focus the beam of doom."

"... alright then." Dib replied with a slow nod. Not exactly the kind of productivity that Dib would have liked but at least he was keeping busy. "Did you think about the question I asked in our last meeting?"

"Hum?" Zim perked at this, looking to Dib with confusion. For a terrible moment, Dib was worried that Zim had forgotten all about the task he'd set the alien. Then the irken suddenly blinked and sat up. "Oh! That!"

Yes that! The thing Dib had been wondering about all friggin week! He leaned onto the desk, unable to stop himself from smiling slightly. "Well? What is it about earth you find most enjoyable?"

Zim seemed a little uneasy, as if he didn't want to answer the question before looking to one side and quietly replying. "The night sky."

The answer was so simple and for a moment Dib wondered if Zim had just made it up. But suddenly he realised it was a very loaded answer. He knew what it would mean but he had to make Zim admit it out loud. "And why do you like the night sky?"

"Never you mind why. I answered your question." Zim quickly snapped at Dib, the subject was sensitive for him obviously. "Ask a new one."

"Zim you need to tell me why you picked the night sky." Dib pushed gently. "Remember? You can tell me anything, nothing leaves this room."

"I don't care! I like the night sky the most because it's apart from this stupid, stinking mud ball! And you humans still manage to decimate it with your dirty fossil fuels!" The irken quickly snapped again, clearly he didn't want to breech this subject. Dib could tell it was something sensitive and a big part of him wanted to push on this subject and demand that Zim say it out loud.

But he had to keep it under wraps. Dib couldn't allow Zim to even think that he knew about the reality of his mission.

"Alright, alright." The counsellor sighed and ran a hand through his hair, feeling his cowlick jump right back up the moment he'd done so. "Let's talk about something else... did you try and doom anything this week?"

"No." Zim replied with a small frown, but at least he seemed to have been relieved that Dib had changed the subject. "I was too saving the world."

"Saving the world?" Dib pressed. He had to get Zim talking about something, the alien always tended to reveal more through his tendency for mindless chatter than any other way.

"Yes. I happened to notice a giant meteor was heading towards earth, so I ended up having to make a giant bomb to explode it." The alien ended with a simple folding of his arms across his chest. "It took up all my time calculating how big it'd have to be and making the stupid thing."

Dib wondered if he'd just imagined Zim had said all that. Zim had... saved the earth? And without him knowing? This was... bizarre! But it was equally incredible, though he knew that this wouldn't have been out of the kindness the aliens heart. "Wha, why did you do it?"

"I'm not having my mission be robbed from me by a hunk of space-rock!" Zim quickly screeched. "This is MY mission, no one and nothing is taking it from me!"

"Is that why you liked the night sky?" Dib quickly and slyly asked, "Because it reminds of you your victory over the meteor?"

"No, of course not, I have samples of space rock for that." Zim immediately replied, Dib of course recognising the way his mouth was running away with him again. "I liked the night sky because it reminds me of home, I can spot my star from this stupid planet!"

Zim immediately slapped a hand across his mouth, his eyes growing wide in the process. He quickly stood on the chair and pointed a finger at Dib, rage glowing from his eyes. "You tricked me!"

"Zim, please calm down." His voice was firm but not harsh. "It's fine for you to miss your home. It's not a weakness."

"IT IS!" The alien screamed loudly, his finger now shaking, though Dib couldn't tell if it was from rage or some other emotion, maybe shame or fear. "Now SHUT UP!"

"No." Dib frowned at Zim, linking his fingers on his desk. "Zim you can't just keep closing up like this every time I ask a question or something."

"Of course I can." The alien quickly snapped back. "I don't miss my home, I hate this planet but I don't miss my home."

"I think you do." Dib knew he shouldn't be pushing Zim like this but he'd been screamed at once too many by the little alien and he felt it was about time he cracked down a little. "I think you miss your home, and that's fine, Zim. You need to accept that's its okay to feel lonely sometimes!"

"NEVER!" Zim shouted again, throwing his wig off his head and jumping down onto it in an act of uncontrollable temper. "NEVER! ZIM IS PERFECT!"

"No you're not! Look at you! You're getting upset over missing your own planet!" Dib didn't shout but his voice was raised. He stood up and leaned onto the desk. "Tell me then, what's so weak about missing your home? Why does it upset you so much?"

"I... it..." Zim halted at this question, his anger failing him. "I'm... not supposed too." He looked away at this and his hands gripped his seat. "It's considered a de-" He paused and quickly corrected himself. "Bad trait for my people."

"Well here, it's not. And you're on earth, which means you don't have to keep hiding things like this inside." Dib allowed himself to smile, his tone relaxing. "Remember, you can say what you like here, your tallest aren't going to hear you."

Zim nodded at this, as if was accepting this fate. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again, his eyes not meeting Dib's but his hands no longer gripping the seat in anger. Instead there seemed to be as strange sadness about him, even apprehension, like at any moment he'd be shouted at.

"I miss my world." His voice was determined and yet still small. "I want to go home... but I can't. Not until I'm done... and I hate it."

"Is that why you like the night sky?" Dib asked the tiny alien sitting before him.

"Yes. Because when I look up, I know that it's still there, my home, waiting for me to return like a hero." Zim smiled slowly and for the first time in Dib's opinion, honestly. "And everyone will want me there."

* * *

_Yes! It was the night sky after all! And I like that ending too, a little too sweet maybe, but still pretty nice. Zim seems to finally be coming around to admitting a few things to Dib and maybe relaxing a little more in his presence. Admitting he missed his home was a big step for the little alien. _

_But remember, Gaz is out there... somewhere... lurking. _

_No references (I know, I'm getting terrible at it!) but hopefully more will pop up next time. Peeps gotta tell me what they liked and hated! Don't feel like you have nothing to say, the slightest annoyance or giggle outta ya'll can help me improve my writing further! Thanks for reading everyone, cya next time!_


	14. An Unexpected Visitor

_BAAAAH. Yes I know, I haven't posted in like two weeks or something but this time I have a proper excuse. Coursework, essays and a lot of writers block for this particular story. I am honestly trying to make it good, but everything I write for it I hate. _

_Which is why I'm trying to push to end it soonish, I'll have to see how that goes since there's an awful lot left to put in this. _

_Anyway, enough of my complaining, ONWARD DEAR READER!_

* * *

The night sky. Huh. Who'd have thought it? Dib mulled this over slowly as he worked late in his office. It wasn't exactly something that was really on earth... but it was something at least. Maybe soon he could try and get Zim to start looking more earthward.

But he couldn't blame the poor guy for missing his home. If Dib was several billion light-years from his home he'd miss it too.

A thought suddenly hit him. Zim had never mentioned a family of any kind, he had never said he had siblings or parents. Was he an only child? Maybe he was an orphan... it would explain why he focused so hard on pleasing the Tallest.

He would have to ask about that... eventually. Right now he was too excited about the idea of finally making Zim open up. He could tell that his constant poking and prodding had paid off, Zim was less apprehensive about opening up and with a little more prying, he knew he could get to the bottom of his issues soon.

Dib was proud of himself. His greatest challenge as a counsellor was finally getting solved, after months of hard work and rejection and almost getting lobotomised.

There was a beeping at his desk however and when he finally finished trying to dig through the papers that were littered around him, he found his phone. He had set an alert on it to remind him to visit his dad and send him a present.

Good thing he had reminded himself, his sister would murder him if he forgot a second time.

He sighed however and looked to the work he'd already done. Not enough really, not nearly enough. He had tried to get work done during the rest of the day but interruption after interruption had stopped him.

Dib decided it might be best to just leave it until later. He was a genius, right? He had more genius related things to do... like catch up on his anime. What? He might be a genius but he was also a complete geek, he went to con's and collected children's card games and played video games whenever he could.

He used to play Arkham Terrors but he had yet to find a new group to play with since moving back into the city.

The young man began shoving things into his satchel. It was time to get home, it was getting colder and colder outside, warnings of frost were popping up everywhere on the morning leaves and roofs of cars.

He could order something for his dad online, it would probably be better anyway, he didn't feel like going into a shopping centre at this time. After discovering Zim, he had suddenly began seeing other little paranormal things jumping into his life and he was pretty sure that the local Walmart were hiring zombies at night to push the shopping carts back into place.

He'd have to investigate that one day... if he ever got the time off to do so.

Dib trudged out through the school, hunched over and zipping his coat up tightly. As he went out to his car he had to think what he wanted to move onto next with Zim. How could you make a young man stop hating himself when everything around him was insulting to him?

He decided he would have to re-enforce that Zim get himself some kind of hobby. Something creative, maybe he could make him like painting or writing or something. Hell, maybe he'd even introduce him to anime.

But what anime? That was a big question right there, as any fan would know.

He chuckled to himself as he began approaching his home. Zim was essentially a hyperactive child at heart, so maybe he needed an equally hyperactive show to get him hooked on.

Maybe Digimon? Something with collectable cards and videogames either way. Besides, Pokemon was way too mainstream, Digimon was for true cool people.

By the time he got into his home he was pretty damn exhausted. He was seriously considering taking a nap, even though he really wasn't a nap person. He was more of a 'drink more coffee' kind of person.

Of course, he had something else to wake him up when he got in.

"DIB-HUMAN!"

Dib almost dropped his papers as he felt something grab his shirt and throw him inside before the door slammed.

Before he even knew what was happening he felt a hand around his throat and he was looking into the deep, alien red eyes of Zim. "YOU LIED TO ME! TRAITOR!"

A couple of questions went through Dib's mind. Firstly, how did Zim manage to get into his house? Secondly, how did Zim know where he lived? Thirdly, what the heck was going on?

"Zim! Let me go!" Dib tried to struggle against his strangler, but he had forgotten how strong Zim could be when he was angry. It took some effort but finally Dib managed to shove Zim away and scramble back, panting.

However, he was quickly met with a laser weapon pointed to his head and a deep growl from Zim. "You betrayer! You lied!"

"What are you talking about?" The older man shouted back. He was not in his counselling room, and further more, Zim had broken into his house. He was allowed to shout at him.

"You know what I'm talking about! You broke our bond of honour! You told the world about me!" The irken shouted accusingly, gun waving in Dib's face.

Dib was pretty confident Zim wouldn't shoot him. Pretty confident. It couldn't hurt to try and calm down a little though, working Zim up into a frenzy would not be good. "Look, Zim, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. How about you put the gun down and explain to me what happened." He braved a smile. "Please?"

The alien seemed to pause, thinking this over and examining the look in Dib's eyes before his gun lowered slowly. "Very well, human, I will give you the chance to clear your name." He turned and marched into the living room, Dib watching as he went, and jumped onto the counsellors couch, folding his arms.

Dib followed after him, silently amused by the manner of which Zim just sat on his couch like he owned the place. Though he mostly just felt glad that Zim had gotten the gun out of his face.

The counsellor sat down and put one leg over another. "Alright, please tell me what happened."

"Some HUMAN knows where I live!" Zim immediately spat out. "I arrived home and she was there, standing at my door! No one ever comes to my door! And how she got past the laser defence system I don't know."

"... she?" Dib raised an eyebrow at this. "Was she my age or young?"

"The human was your age, she looked kind of like you too..." Zim trailed off as he squinted at the older man. "... she has your colour eyes. And skin. But horrible purple hair that looked horrible and she had a frown like a Rancor!"

Dib would have laughed if his blood didn't run slightly cold. "... it was Gaz... what the heck was she thinking?" He looked away, putting a hand to his mouth as he frowned in thought.

There was a moment of silence before Zim's voice cut through the air. "What's a Gaz?"

The counsellor looked up, "Wha? Oh, erm." He nervously put his fingers together. "Gaz is... my sister."

"Sister?" Zim raised an antennae slowly, Dib finding it slightly amusing for him to do so. "What is 'sister'?"

"Oh." Zim didn't know what a sister was? How strange but than again, Zim didn't seem to have any kind of family. Was all his race born without families? Suddenly Dib wondered if his methods of psychology would even work against Zim. His psychology was based on the very principle of the family unit but Zim had none of that. He had already been treating him like an orphan but now... this was something else altogether.

A society, a race, without family. It was amazing and yet, so worrying.

"A sister... she's related to me directly, we share the same blood, we both have the same father and mother." Well, they had a father, Dib didn't like to think of his mother. It reminded him of a childhood he had lost.

"She's your brood-sibling?" Zim suddenly leapt up. "So you DID tell her about me!"

"No! I only might have dropped your name, she doesn't know you're irken or anything like that!" He chuckled nervously. "Actually I'm amazed she found your home in just one day and without any help. She must want to see who you are considering I do so much work on you."

Zim's eyes narrowed dangerously before he hopped of the couch and began storming towards the door. "Very well, if she wishes to meet Zim, she will meet Zim. I will show her I'm a perfectly normal human worm baby."

"How about she comes here?" Dib announced, standing up. "I don't think it'd be wise for her to go to your home again." Actually he didn't trust Zim inviting his sister around to his home. Last time he almost cut Dib's brain out, who knew what he'd do to someone he didn't trust or even know.

Besides, Gaz could do equally as much damage if she got mad, which she probably would do.

The small alien paused, thinking this over before turning around. "Fine. I will engage with her on neutral ground! But I swear Dib-stink, should you reveal one tiny dolt of information about me." He pointed a suddenly dangerous looking finger at Dib and his eyes narrowed. "It will be YOUR head on the pig!"

Dib had no idea if he should take this seriously or not. He simply nodded, though inside, he had the awful feeling this was going to go downhill very, very quickly.

* * *

_OOOH, so what is Gaz up too? Obviously she wants to know who Zim is... but what will she do when she finds out?_

_Anyways, references time! _  
_'collected children's card games' - CHILDREN;S CARD GAMES. A Yugioh Abridged reference is always fun. _  
_'Arkham Terrors' - Reference to Arkham Horrors, a great little role-playing board game which I love. _  
_'hiring zombies at night to push the shopping carts back into place.' - A Shawn of the Dead reference, best zombie film ever made. _  
_'Digimon was for true cool people' - Invader Griz Jau and Rel asked me to put in a Digimon reference, SO THERE IT IS :D hope you liked! _  
_'frown like a Rancor' - Rancors are from Star Wars kids! The original Star Wars!_

_Anyways, that about wraps her all up. Lame chapter I know, but still, tell what you hated and liked and all that niceness. Thanks for reading folks! Till next time!_


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